


Camp Horizon

by Hyperionova



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angry Kai, Demigods, Fantasy, First Times, Inspired by Greek Mythology, Inspired by Percy Jackson, M/M, Romance, Summer Camp, Superpowers, confused sehun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:14:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28894950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyperionova/pseuds/Hyperionova
Summary: Kai, a demigod, the son of the God of War, is about to experience the most exciting and confusing summer of his life. Everything changes when his mother forces him to spend two months at a special camp for demigods like him. The anger and need to make war consume him every single second of the day.But his limits are tested when he meets his "polar opposite", the "indisputable bane of his existence", Sehun, the son of the Goddess of Love and Beauty.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 100
Kudos: 390





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning. Kai is a very angry boy that doesn't believe in love.

# Chapter One

Summer. It was the time of the year to be free and reckless. It was a time for endless celebrations and happiness. For limitless warmth and love. Except for Kai.

“Will you stop pouting?” his mother said with a sigh, as she pulled the car off-road and into the familiar dense woods. The trees were as tall and great as Kai remembered, flaunting their wide, lavish canopies of green, offering a nearly impenetrable defence from the rest of the otherwise mundane world. “This is going to be fun.”

Kai could not help but fix his mother with a sidelong glower, which she pretended not to see.

“You haven’t been here since you were eleven,” his mother added as another unconvincing attempt to cajole Kai. “I bet you’d even remember some of these kids.”

He turned to glare out the window again, and all that he saw was copses of trees.

“This is good for you,” said his mother. “You could learn a lot from this camp.”

Kai scoffed then. “Oh, like how to get my temper under control.”

His mother glanced at him briefly. “No, that’s not it.”

“Really? So, you didn’t force me to come to this stupid summer camp like I’m a ten-year-old because you aren’t concerned about my anger management issues?”

Frowning, his mother said, “Kai, I think this could be a fun experience for you. All you do nowadays is get in trouble at school or be a menace to our neighbours. You’ve changed schools twice in the last two years. Everyone calls you a bully. It doesn’t seem like you’re going to be graduating anytime soon. And I really do not like that rowdy gang of ne’er-do-well friends you have been hanging out with lately.”

“So, that’s why you insist on me spending two whole months here. To have me straightened out,” he snorted. “Newsflash, Mom. Nothing is going to straighten me out. In case you haven’t noticed, my dad’s the God of War. It’s in my nature to be a menace.”

“Yes,” she replied. “And that’s why you have broken nearly forty mailboxes in our neighbourhood just in the past year.”

Kai rolled his eyes.

“Kai, sweetie,” his mother proceeded. “Promise me that you will behave yourself here.”

“I’m not a kid, Mom. I turn _nineteen_ next winter.”

“I know, I know.” She exhaled heavily. “I’m not calling you a kid. I just want you to remember that… if you believe that you’re a part of your father, then you are also a part of _me_.”

Kai’s expression softened a little then. He had never met his father in person. He often visited Kai in his dreams, but that was different. But he had heard plenty about Him. His mother, however, was completely human and everything Kai’s father was not. She was kind, gentle, humble, naïve and simple. But very beautiful. Even though Kai could not help but hurt her feelings regularly, sometimes he did in fact feel bad about it. Like that time when she broke into tears as soon as they came home after Kai had gotten expelled from school for kicking a boy to the point of bleeding. In all fairness, the boy had insulted Kai and his mother, calling him ‘a bastard who did not even know his father’s name’. And he had only been twelve then.

There were not many people or things in this world that could bring out such emotions and sentiments from Kai.

Which was the only reason why he had agreed to go to this stupid camp. To give his mother some break from the relentless troubles he kept causing her. She said that she’d visit her sister, who lived on the other side of the world, for a while. She needed the rest more than anybody. Raising Kai was akin to raising a whole lot of hell.

His mother would trust him enough to go away for weeks without leaving him with some sort of supervision. And she had not hired any babysitters to watch over Kai since he snapped a babysitter’s finger at the age of eight. If left alone, Kai was bound to break something in the house or someone on the street.

He simply could not tolerate sustained peace and quiet. It drove him mad sometimes.

A small part of him was hoping for the same thing his mother was secretly wishing for. That this camp would help him deal with his clearly extant issues.

But he was managing his expectations. Unlike his mother and the rest of the world, he did not really believe that his problems could be fixed with some disciplining.

As the car slowly ascended the dirt road up the mountain, Kai tried to ready himself to be surrounded by at least fifty excitable, insufferable half-bred spawns of gods and goddesses in a few moments.

The last time he had attended Camp Horizon was about eight years ago. He did not remember much about it, but he certainly recalled hating every day of it. He had not made any friends, because he hated all of them. The only one that he did not feel like punching in the face was the depressed son of the God of Death.

He did however remember setting fire to a cabin. Nobody was injured, but he received some severe reprimanding from the organizers and coordinators. He hadn’t bothered going back there since. Until this summer, when he received an invitation in the mail from the camp.

“You will be fine,” his mother said reassuringly, patting Kai’s knee gently. “Do me a favour and try not to burn anything down this time, will you?”

Kai said nothing because he did not make promises he could not keep.

When the arching signboard finally came into view, Kai drew in a deep, sharp breath, fisting his hands on his lap. _‘Camp Horizon for Young Demigods’_ the wooden signboard read, written in gold lettering.

“Don’t be nervous,” said his mother.

Kai grimaced at her. “I’m not _nervous_ , Mom,” he spat. He was never nervous about anything. Except maybe when people smiled at him for absolutely no reason.

“Just saying,” his mother muttered, peering over the steering wheel.

Kai could see the straggles of cabins, tents and flying flags, bearing the camp’s insignia. Bloody hell, he hated this already.

Eventually, he saw some parked cars, smiling parents parting with their excited children, and lots and lots of kids and teenagers. He banged his head back against the headrest and groaned.

“Are you sure I can’t just stay home alone?” he asked his mother, although he already knew the answer.

“That is not up for discussion,” said his mother, looking for a spot to park the car.

Kai was looking out the window again, dully scouring the boys and girls scurrying everywhere. One of them was wielding water, making it jump and twist out of a cup. Had to be one of the children of the God of the Sea. Another was sprinting across the cabins as fast as lightning. Probably a daughter of the God of Speed. There was another boy sitting on the ground with seven other kids, focusing very hard to make a flower bud bloom. Either the offspring of the Goddess of Gardens and Flowers, or the Goddess of Life.

Kai suddenly remembered how obnoxious everybody was at the camp. They all either wanted to show off or prove something. He did not understand why any of it mattered. None of them were going to be joining their godly parents in the heavens (or in hell for those with the less celestial parents) anytime soon.

“And here we are,” his mother said singsongingly, as she finally parked the car and unbuckled her seatbelt. “Let’s get going, sweetheart.”

“You really can’t wait to drop me off and hurry away, huh?”

His mother made the face she always did whenever she was offended or hurt by Kai’s snarky remarks. “You know that that is not true.”

Kai shrugged and aggressive shoved the door open. With a little more strength, he might have broken the door. He did not wait for his mother to retrieve his bags from the trunk.

“Hello,” a voice said, and Kai spun around so fast that he nearly smacked the girl with his duffel bag.

She managed to jump back and dodge it in the nick of time, however. Impressive reflexes, Kai mused to himself.

She was grinning from ear to ear, holding a clipboard in one hand while the other tucked a curly, strawberry-blond hair behind her ear.

“I’m Lara,” she said, holding a hand out. When Kai ignored it, turning around to pick up his bags again, she did not look like she took offence. Much to Kai’s dismay, she continued to smile. “I’m one of the coordinators for this year. May I know your name?”

“It’s Kim Kai,” his mother answered for him, taking the girl’s hand in Kai’s stead. “I’m his mother.”

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Ms. Kim,” said the girl. She had to be Kai’s age, perhaps a year or two younger. “Allow me escort you to our counsellor’s office. He is expecting you.”

“That will be great. Thank you so much, Lara.”

As she led the way, she asked, “Have you been here at Camp Horizon before, Kai?”

Kai did not bother to answer again. He pretended to be distracted by the gifted kids who were running around the place. It almost felt like an ordinary summer camp. He dearly hoped that he would not bump into another son or daughter of the God of War. He did not the last time he had been here.

Some kids found their never-before-met half-siblings here at the camp. He simply could not deal with such drama right now or ever. Besides, he did not think it would mean much, anyway. The gods and goddesses had so many children scattered across the world. So, he highly doubted that he was the only son of the God of War on earth. He certainly knew his mother, as beautiful as she was, was not _that_ special.

“Kai,” his mother called, and it clearly was not the first time his name had been uttered. Kai blinked when he looked at her displeased face. She had just finished answering the girl’s question. “Isn’t she nice? She’s very nice, I think. Very agreeable.”

Kai glanced ahead at the girl, hoping that she was out of earshot before he arched an eyebrow at his mother. “Invite her over for a tea party, then,” he told her with an almost unbearable amount of sarcasm in his tone.

His mother huffed. She found every age-appropriate girl that interacted with Kai ‘nice’ and ‘agreeable’. Her hopes for a girl to change Kai’s menacing ways – or at least soften him and his need to make war every hour of the day – had still not dwindled, apparently.

“Perhaps you guys could become friends,” she said, bumping her shoulder against Kai’s arm, with that mischievous – yet still somehow naïve – smirk of hers clinging to her lips.

If his mother truly believed that Kai was here to make friends – or worse, _girlfriends_ – she was sorely mistaken. But Kai did not tell her that and burst her bubble right away. He’d wait until the end of the camp to prove to her just how wrong she was and had always been about him, once again naively believing that Kai could be ‘fixed’.

His inability to feel and give love was not something that could be fixed. The only reason he was (moderately) affectionate and caring towards his mother was that she was his _mother_ , and perhaps he was affected by the fact that she was in general, a good and genuine human being, who needed to be protected from the world. The only mistake she had ever committed was having that wretched one-night stand with a god disguised as a man, who had seduced her into bed, leaving her with nothing but a swollen belly and a rotten egg for a child. At least he was decent enough to have told her the truth about his godship before he left.

* * *

Once all the boilerplate stuff was straightened out with the camp’s counsellor – who was fortunately not the same man who had severely reprimanded Kai the last time he was here – they exited the office. The girl, Lara, was still tagging along.

“All right, sweetheart,” his mother said as she held an empty hand out, palm up. Kai knew she was not asking for his hand.

Groaning quietly, he fished his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans and handed it to her.

“Now, as we agreed,” she said. “try to be nice and not cause a commotion. At least don’t let me see a giant geyser in the rear-view mirror as soon as I drive away. If there is any problem, I’ll come back right away, okay?”

She rose to her toes to press a firm kiss to Kai’s cheek. She did not expect one back, as usual. As she pulled back, she had tears sheening in her eyes. She gave Kai’s lightly stubbled chin a squeeze before she started past him.

Even though Kai knew that she would be looking back to wave, he did not turn around. Instead, he stood staring at Lara, who was looking at his mother lovingly. Annoying.

“Well, then,” she said, eventually tearing her gaze from his mother to set it on him, smiling winningly. “Let me show you to your cabin. Cabin H. It’s where you’ll be staying with two other boys. Do you need any help carrying those?”

She was nodding at Kai’s two bags.

Did he look like he needed any help? He could lift five boulders at the same time without flinching. Super strength was one of the very few gifts he possessed and was proud of. Unfortunately, he was resented for it, too. Except when he was needed around the neighbourhood to lug a boat into the garage, or to move a heavy furniture around the house. Even then, he tried to keep his gift low profile. He could not afford to have everyone find out that he had a legendary warmonger for a father.

Sometimes, Kai wondered what the gods’ world was like. Magical, certainly. Vast and expansive, but no place for mortals, even demigods.

Although he knew that there was no way he could ever find out, part of him wondered if he would belong there. Like his father. Nobody must resent him for loving war.

Kai tried to ignore the young, sprightly kids that ran around the camp, in all shapes, sizes and colours. While some of them confidently exhibited their gifts, others watched silently in awe.

“You’d be bunking with Dan and Keylan,” said Lara, glancing over her shoulder to look at Kai. There was something very frustratingly attractive about her the more Kai looked at her. He could not help but wonder whose daughter she might be.

When they arrived at the cabin, she opened the door for him. There was no one there, but the two unmade beds suggested it was not vacant.

“How do you feel about the top bunk?” asked Lara, and Kai’s eyes flicked to her. It took an immense amount of effort to not to make a tactless joke about what she had just said. He realized that he did not want to gross her out. At least not immediately.

“Fine,” he answered curtly, throwing his bags to the ground. He could easily reach the top bunk with his height without even using the ladder.

“Splendid,” chimed Lara. “Now, this is the activity schedule for this week.”

She held out a sheet of paper and gave Kai a moment to peruse it.

“We will be picking teams for the over sixteen this afternoon,” she proceeded. “We will be doing all the tasks and activities in our team throughout the camp.”

Kai placed the schedule on his bed and looked at her again. “Will you be participating as well?”

“Of course,” she said, beaming so bright suddenly, as though she were incredibly delighted by Kai’s talking to her at long last. “All coordinators will be partaking in all the activities.”

“Cool,” muttered Kai, unzipping one of his bags to retrieve a fresh T-shirt.

“There bathrooms are right at the back,” said Lara. “I’ll show you.”

And so she did. They were closed bathrooms – mostly. Kai did not care much about his privacy, anyway. He did not have a lot of humility, and he really could not care less about what other people thought and believed.

Lara also showed him the cafeteria and the common assembly area before she accompanied him back to his cabin. This time, there were people there. Two boys, almost as tall, but just as old as Kai. One was a redhead and freckled. The other was wearing the ugliest dungaree Kai had ever seen.

“Oh, hey, guys,” Lara announced their arrival. “Dan, Keylan, this is Kai.”

Dan was the one in the dungaree, and he had a pleasant enough face. Keylan had sunrays emitting from his fingertips when he extended a hand to Kai. He had to be a son of the God of Sun. Or perhaps the Goddess of Summer.

Fuck, it would be so much easier if everyone wore a tag.

“Sorry,” he muttered, withdrawing his hand when Kai started grimacing at his shimmering fingers. “It happens when I get excited.”

When Kai got excited, he broke his neighbours’ mailboxes. So, he understood.

“I will leave you to it, then,” said Lara, heading out the door. “Just be at the assembly area in an hour. You’ll hear the horn.”

Kai huffed once she was gone and turned to his new bunkmates. Keylan was still shining, and Dan was lounged on his bottom bunk, the one below Kai’s.

“So, who are you?” asked Dan, but not in a condescending way. It really sounded like he was curious.

“Kai,” he answered dully.

“Yes, we heard that,” laughed Dan. “What I mean is, who _are_ you?”

Oh. “My dad’s the God of War.”

Keylan gasped as he dropped to a seat on his bed. Another bottom bunk, but a separate bed, across the one Dan and Kai shared. “That’s… intense. My mom’s the Goddess of Summer.”

“And my dad’s the God of Wine,” said Dan, smirking. “Not at all impressive, though. I’m not even old enough to drink any wine.”

“You can make grape vines grow and turn water into wine when you focus hard,” said Keylan, trying to be comforting. They seemed like they had been friends for years. “You’re a walking winery.”

“So, you’re like Jesus?” asked Kai, and that made Dan let out a hearty, sincere laugh.

“That joke never gets old,” he scoffed. “Yes, like Jesus. Except that I am not worshipped all around the world.”

Kai shrugged. “Well, neither am I.”

Sitting up, Dan scrutinized Kai from head to toe, as though he were trying to gauge Kai’s size. “It’s your first time at the camp, right? Why haven’t you come here before?”

Shrugging again, Kai removed the hoodie he was wearing and traded it for a maroon T-shirt. He did not feel like answering any more questions, so he didn’t.

* * *

Kai quietly followed Dan and Keylan to the open area where the assembly was about to take place. The horns were still blaring all around him, and he was greatly tempted to bring those poles down and rip those horns to pieces.

But he tried to keep his cool, mostly because he was a little tired, and he wanted to get to bed later tonight without any delays.

There weren’t as many over sixteen demigods at the camp as Kai had expected. Twenty-five, give or take. And all of them looked like they were going through some sort of teen angst.

Kai probably looked like one of them, too. But he always looked like he was undergoing some inner turmoil at all times.

He casually walked toward the gathering crowd with his hands in the pockets of his grey sweatpants. He did not try to read everyone’s face, even though he knew that most of them were looking in his way.

Everyone was either in a group or paired up. Clearly, they had all been annual attendees at the camp. Kai almost begrudged them the familiarity and comfortableness they shared among one another. But it did not really bother him. He had never been wanted anywhere, he never fitted in anywhere. He must be the last one to show up at the camp, as well. On the last day to check in. One could tell that he had been avoiding this day like the plague.

Keylan and Dan looked around and smiled when they spotted Kai. They retracked a few of their steps to join Kai at his sides, which frankly annoyed him. He would much rather be left alone.

“Since you’re new here,” said Dan. “I’ll tell you who’s who.”

Kai really did not care, but he did not oppose.

There was a raised platform in the arena, where the counsellor stood, accompanied by another man and a woman. The woman’s complexion looked a little blue – or perhaps it was green. She had a head of frizzy black hair.

“That’s Donna,” said Dan, as though he had read Kai’s mind. “And that’s Lee. They’re both instructors. You must have already met the counsellor.”

“They are all very nice,” Keylan added, as if Kai needed the reassurance.

He briefly glimpsed his surrounding and was exasperated to find one too many eyes on him. Some of them were whispering, giggling silently, most likely at his expense. He told himself to not to bothered by it. It was all that he could do right now to not to pick a fight with them.

He clenched his fists in the pockets of his sweatpants and stared ahead at the counsellor, who was clearing his throat to make an announcement.

“Welcome,” he said, voice loud and clear. He was a man in his early fifties, perhaps. “to all of you. We are very happy to have all of you here again this year, and I can promise you we’ll have yet another wonderful summer together. We have so many planned activities, which are both fun and enlightening.”

Kai mentally groaned.

“To the newcomers,” said the counsellor, meaning Kai. “let me introduce our beloved instructors. Lee and Donna.”

They both waved briefly with a polite smile.

“And now, this year,” proceeded the counsellor. “we have some amazing, capable coordinators, who you can refer to whenever you need anything.”

 _Anything?_ That was too vague.

Kai was one of the tallest in the crowd, so he did not have do much to get a good view.

“First of all, Lara,” pronounced the counsellor, and the girl from before stepped forward and bowed her head lightly. A big cheer followed from the crowd. She must be popular.

“That’s Lara,” whispered Keylan. “Dan has a huge crush on her.”

“I do not,” hissed Dan, but he was blushing.

“She’s the daughter of the Goddess of Love and Beauty,” supplied Keylan, even though Kai did not ask. But it made sense now. Lara was vibrating with that energy that put Kai out.

“Arjun,” the counsellor introduced another coordinator. He was all skin and bones, but he was very presentable.

“His father is the God of Arts,” said Keylan.

The counsellor introduced two more coordinators before he finally called after the last one.

“And lastly,” he said. “Sehun.”

Then it happened. The boy with most radiant smile walked onto the platform and waved.

Every fibre of Kai’s being had numbed. He had no clue how or why it happened, but it did. His insides, all of a sudden, felt like they were being punched again and again. The world around him seemed to have slipped away, and all that his eyes could make a head or tail of was that… face. White as milk, except for his cheekbones, which were almost the same colour as his lips and ears. His brown hair looked silky and fluffy. Every part of his skin that was exposed was smooth and maddening.

And that smile.

It made Kai sick.

“That’s Lara’s half-brother,” he heard Keylan’s voice as a distant echo.

Kai realized, eventually, that he was not breathing. His heart was jackhammering in his chest, and he had no explanation for it. He saw red, then he saw white, then he saw only the boy. His throat closed around a thick, nauseating lump. He was not sure if he were angry or if he were about to pass out. Perhaps he was about to pass out from being so angry.

There he was. The polar opposite of Kai. The indisputable bane of Kai’s existence. He stood right there, smiling innocently, like he did not know what his mere presence was doing to Kai’s body, heart and mind. Fuck, he really did not know. He did not even know that Kai was standing in the crowd.

He was tall and mostly lanky, but there was some muscle mass to his build beneath the tracksuit and the Henley shirt he was wearing. His face was so pleasant, so beautiful, that Kai wanted to throw up blood.

This was godliness incarnate.

Did the others feel this way? Was anyone else in the crowd feeling like they were dying at the moment?

Kai wanted to find out, but he could not tear his gaze away from the boy.

Sehun.

The name was instantly etched onto his soul, for whatever fucking reason.

Hell. Kai really did end up in hell.

And then Sehun’s eyes met his. He stilled, and Kai stopped blinking. It was a brief glance, but it had been a glance, nonetheless. Sehun’s eyes somehow had managed to pick Kai’s out in the crowd, and that made Kai’s heart go wilder.

He turned on his heel, planning to run away from this camp before he could actually die.

But then Dan caught his arm. “Where are you going? They’re going to divide us up into teams.”

Kai could not move again. He was afraid that if he moved or said anything, he was going to either confess his murderous intentions towards the boy he had just met a minute ago or he was going to embarrass himself even more by breaking apart.

Did the boy notice his meltdown when he looked? Could he have noted Kai’s inner chaos for a moment there?

“Are you all right?” asked Keylan, frowning. “You’re really… sweating. And you look a little out of breath.”

“You’re not claustrophobic or afraid of crowds, are you?” asked Dan.

Kai, for once, welcomed the conversation. A distraction. Good. He sucked in a breath and shook his head. Around him, no one seemed to be suffocating like he was. No one seemed like they were about to go down on their knees and pledge their love for the boy.

So, it was just Kai. Acting stupid.

“You will be divided into five teams,” the counsellor announced. “And each team will be assigned a coordinator.”

_Oh, god. Please, no. Please, no._

Kai had never really begged for anything, but he had to now. His hands were clammy and shaking. He had never felt anything like this before, it was so alien and foreign to him. He did not know what to do. Maybe he could still run to the counsellor’s office and ring up his mother and beg her to come get him. But his pride and arrogance would not allow that.

Still, this was worse.

One of the coordinators stepped forward with a clipboard and began to read out some names.

Kai was chewing on his stomach acid.

Next, Lara came forward and read out her own list.

“Daniel, Kai, Lisa, and Juan,” she said, and Kai closed his eyes for a moment to thank his lucky stars.

He could breathe again. He tried not to look in Sehun’s way as he moved with Dan, approaching Lara.

He stopped dead in his tracks when Sehun started talking.

Kai thought that every vein in his forehead might just pop. For some reason, Sehun did this breathy chuckle thing as he read out a name that had Kai rooted to the ground. What kind of cruel (beautiful) sound was that? Fuck, it was going to keep Kai up all night tonight.

“Kai,” called Lara. “Come on over here.”

Kai kept staring at the boy. He only – very frantically – looked away when Sehun turned around to look at him.

“You okay?” asked Lara, glancing between Kai and Sehun.

“Yeah,” muttered Kai, almost squealing, as he raised a hand to rub the back of his head.

Lara then smirked. “Don’t mind him,” she said privately to Kai. “My brother has that effect on some people.”

That was… comforting. But the way Lara continued to smirk cheekily at him – as though this was very amusing to her – was not.

Fuck, this was going to be harder than Kai thought.


	2. Chapter 2

# Chapter Two

They were Team Blue. Each of them received a blue Velcro arm tag after Lara was done giving her pep talk. Dan was glad that he and Kai were on the same team. Actually, all of them were when they learned that Kai had an impressive amount of strength.

Today, no heavy activities were planned. Instead, there’d be some bonding exercises, which Juan made a tasteless joke about. Kai decided that Juan was not so bad. He was a son of the God of Fire, but he had not quite learned how to wield fire yet. Lisa was rather quiet, and she clearly wanted to be in the same team as her friends. She was a daughter of the Goddess of Virtue.

Each team had their own designated meeting spot. Blue’s was the cafeteria. There were some young kids there, wolfing down some biscuits and apple juice for afternoon snacks, while they eagerly stared at the older kids, as if they were fascinating.

Kai had stopped looking around for Sehun, mostly to stay away from him. But he had not stopped _thinking_ about the boy or what had happened back there.

Everybody loved Lara, he noticed. Everybody _knew_ her. Everybody wanted to talk to her. Earlier, when they were walking towards the cafeteria, everyone that crossed their path stopped to chat with Lara.

Dan, particularly, was on cloud nine. Keylan was right. He did have a big fat crush on Lara. Actually, Kai wondered if everyone at the camp had a crush on Lara. Even the girls.

She was beautiful, of course. And charismatic. Always in command of the room. But Kai only found her tolerable and nothing more. And her brother even less so.

He tried very hard to push those thoughts away, especially those that kept reminding him how he had nearly broken down because of some… boy.

A _boy_.

Madness.

“Kai,” Lara called, not for the first time. Kai blinked up at her.

“Huh?”

“It’s your turn,” she said, still smiling patiently. “to introduce yourself.”

Kai scratched his neck and said, “Name’s Kai. Senior at Flake Valley High.”

“And do you have any hobbies?”

Well, he could not tell them that his hobby was being a menace to those around him, could he? “No,” he said.

Dan scoffed. “Everyone has hobbies.”

Kai wanted to punch his teeth in then. But he refrained. “I don’t.”

Dan backed off, as though he picked up on Kai’s not-so-subtle threat in his tone.

“All right,” said Lara. “And what do you plan to do after high school? What colleges have you applied to?”

None.

Much to his mother’s disappointment.

He shrugged. “Thinking of joining the army,” he admitted blatantly.

Everyone was silent for a moment. Even Lara’s million dollar smile faltered. “Well, that’s… interesting,” she said, trying very hard to not to sound judgmental.

“Your turn, Lara,” Dan said enthusiastically, and Kai was thankful for the diversion.

Lara cleared her throat before speaking. “My name is Lara, as you already know. I’m seventeen. I live with my aunt, but my half-brother Sehun lives only a block away from me with his father and stepmom. He also has a half-brother, and I visit them often. I actually convinced my aunt to move, so that I can be closer to Sehun. And one day, I hope to become a literary writer.”

Kai wanted to clap his hands over his ears, so that he would not have to hear that name over and over again, just when he had started to forget about it.

“Does Sehun’s family know that you’re his sister, by the way?” asked Dan, lifting a foot to the bench to tie his shoelaces.

Lara nodded. “His father does. His stepmom thinks that I’m Sehun’s best friend.”

“As long as it’s not girlfriend,” snorted Dan. “That would be weird as hell.”

Lara flushed red. “Sehun has a girlfriend, in case you didn’t know that.”

Dan’s eyes widened, and strangely enough, so did Kai’s.

“Oh, yeah. The chick with those huge jugs,” said Juan. “She’s a daughter of the Goddess of Wisdom, isn’t she?”

“Since when?!” yapped Dan.

“Since last winter,” said Lara. “Now, enough about them. Let’s move on to the next activity.”

* * *

Somewhere along the way, Kai had gone from not wanting to see the boy again to desperately hoping that he would show up out of nowhere. But there was no such fortune – or perhaps misfortune – as the afternoon activities finally came to an end.

The blaring horns signalled the start of the evening activities, which mostly involved eating dinner and spectating a performance by the coordinators later.

Keylan joined Kai and Dan at the table once he had grabbed himself a tray of the mashed potatoes, gravy, green peas, and beef patties.

“How was your first day?” he asked Kai.

Kai responded with his signature shrug and pretended like he could not talk because his mouth was full. Well, it was.

The evening was still bright, just like any other summer evening with unrelenting daylight.

Kai was looking around the cafeteria even without noticing it. He spotted some of the coordinators. Lara was sitting at a table with some chummy people, who seemed like her close friends. There was no sign of her brother.

“The real fun begins tomorrow,” said Dan, cutting through the silence of their table.

“What’s tomorrow?” asked Kai.

“Weren’t you listening to Lara earlier?”

No, he wasn’t. He was too preoccupied fantasizing about her brother.

“Paintball war,” announced Dan with his chest puffed out.

Kai was good with a paintball gun. In fact, he enjoyed the activity a lot. It was one of those activities where he could be however aggressive he wanted and hurt people for fun.

“Where are you going?” Keylan asked when Kai started to stand up from the table. “There will be a performance after dinner.”

Even though Kai did not want to inform Keylan of his plans to take a piss, he bluntly said, “To the bathroom.”

He was not looking or thinking when he spun around with the tray of half-eaten food and accidentally knocked over another tray – still full of untouched mashed potatoes, gravy, peas, jello cup, and an open carton of strawberry milk – which promptly spilled over the boy who had been carrying it all.

Kai’s first impulse was to fist his hand, but he instantly loosened it, along with his clenched jaw, when he realized it was… Sehun.

His heart either stopped or had started beating at an unrecognizable pace.

Some people gasped around them. Sehun was not smiling now. He looked upset, and even that was sickening.

He had dropped the tray and all the food it had been bearing. His shirt was now stained with mashed potatoes, gravy, and jello, soaked with milk.

_Why?! Why did it have to be him?!_

“I’m sorry,” he muttered – even though it had not been his fault – without meeting Kai’s gaze. He seemed too upset about the wasted food on the ground.

Kai stood frozen, unable to turn a hair. His tray was on the ground, too.

Sehun lowered himself to a crouch and picked up the trays before collecting the spilled food onto them. When he rose back to his full height – he was actually an inch or two taller than Kai – he finally looked at Kai’s eyes and stilled for a moment, too.

Could he see it right through Kai’s eyes? What he was going through on the inside? Had he seen this happen to other people before? Did they all feel such a strong urge to do something _bad_ to him?

Something bad…

Kai could not decide what that ‘something bad’ was. His bewildered gaze dropped from Sehun’s eyes and landed on Sehun’s slightly parted lips.

Fuck, bad idea.

Okay, so it was one of two things. Kai either wanted to kiss Sehun or kill him. Maybe both. Kiss him first and then kill him so that he would not tell anyone.

Either way, it was in that moment that Kai decided that he _needed_ to have Sehun (whether to destroy him or to murder him, did not matter for the time being) or he would not be okay.

Kai had always been very impulsive. In everything. He destroyed and destroyed and destroyed. Ironically, destroying peace brought him peace.

He did not like pretty things. They made him uneasy.

And right now, he was looking at the prettiest thing the gods had ever made. His hands were trembling, and he wanted to put them all over the other boy.

“Sehun,” a girl’s voice snapped him back to reality. “Are you all right?”

She was an olive-skinned girl, big chested, tall and full confidence. She was at Sehun’s side in no time, helping him with the mess.

“Thanks, Layla,” muttered Sehun, finally looking away from Kai. “I’m fine.”

He had been staring at Kai almost as long as Kai had been staring at him. Only that he looked more confused than angry.

“Well, let’s have you cleaned up,” said the girl called, Layla. She ushered him away, and Kai waited for a moment to see if Sehun would look back. He didn’t. Which was a good thing, because Kai would have combusted if he had.

“Dude,” Dan hissed, nudging at Kai’s arm. Blinking at last, Kai turned to look at Keylan and Dan gawking at him. “What’s gotten into you?”

Everyone was staring at him. With judgment. He caught Lara’s sharp gaze from where she was sitting, but she did not look furious. Just shocked.

Of course, everyone would be shocked. Kai had just been standing there like a statue instead of issuing an apology of any sort and giving Sehun a helping hand. He could not blame them. They did not know the shit Kai had gone through for a moment there.

He crossed over the spilled food on the ground and headed for the bathroom with his hands balled into fists. Could he have fucked up any worse on his first day? He had just offended the purported wunderkind of the camp.

Going to the bathroom was a bad idea because Sehun was there, trying to wash off the stains from his clothes and hands at the sinks.

“Do you want me to go get a new shirt?” the girl, Layla, asked. She looked genuinely concerned, as she actively groped at Sehun.

Kai was not sure why he tightened his fists.

“No, it’s all right,” Sehun told her. “I’ll go change.”

“Did you bump into him or –”

“I don’t know,” Sehun cut her off. He seemed to be too focused on removing the stains of his shirt sleeves. He eventually looked up at Layla and smiled.

And fuck, the smile nearly made Kai’s knees buckle, and it wasn’t even meant for him!

If Sehun ever smiled at him like that, should the day ever come, Kai did not know how he might survive it. Or maybe he’d kill Sehun off before that.

“No point in crying over spilt milk, right?” said Sehun, and it made Layla scoff. She leaned in to brush a kiss on his cheek. “You should head back. I’ll finish here and get changed.”

Layla nodded and gave Sehun another kiss on the cheek before she walked away. Kai thought of hiding in a bush or something, but he decided against it.

He started walking again, pretending like he had just arrived. Layla pinned him with a subtle scowl as she walked past him. She must be Sehun’s girlfriend, and Kai was suddenly overcome by another alien feeling that consumed him from the inside. It felt like someone had lit a bonfire in the pit of his stomach.

He might just murder Layla before he’d get to Sehun.

In spite of his grave need to hurt people and interrupt peace, he had never actually hurt anyone… who did not deserve it. And of course, he had never really murdered anyone before. He was borderline sociopathic, but he was not quite there yet.

Sehun might just drive him all the way there with another smile of his, though.

As Kai reached the urinals, he turned his back to Sehun, and tugged his sweatpants and boxers down, thinking to himself that he had never been this exhausted in a single day. He did not think that he had done anything necessarily physically taxing today, but mentally, he was broken.

All these new, unwanted emotions. Feelings. Even if it was anger, this was a different kind of anger. One that was repeatedly pummelling his heart.

He hoped Sehun had not noticed his presence. Or maybe he did. He was not sure. He turned around when he was done, and his heart did a somersault when he found Sehun, still standing there, trying very hard to wash some gravy off his trousers.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Kai walked over to the sink to wash his hands. In his peripheral vision, he saw Sehun stiffening. He tried not to let his hands shake too much as he reached for the faucet.

Sehun jumped a little when Kai accidentally yanked the faucet handle too hard and it came off. For a moment, he blinked blankly at the broken faucet handle in his hand. He dared himself to glance up at Sehun then.

The boy was staring at him, unmoving.

 _Say something_ , Kai’s brain thought, but he was not sure if it were talking to himself or to Sehun.

There wasn’t enough light in this part of the bathroom to know exactly what was going on in Sehun’s expression, but Kai could make out the taut lines on his forehead between his eyebrows and the tightly pursed lips. No, no. He should stay away from those lips.

Sehun looked… a little scared.

Kai’s own thoughts resounded in his head then. He _needed_ to have Sehun (whether to destroy him or to murder him, did not matter for the time being) or he would not be okay.

He really would not.

This awkward moment would have gone on forever if Sehun had not decided to say something.

“A-Are you… okay?” he asked, and Kai, for a moment, could not digest that he was talking to him. This was one of those ridiculous things that happened in movies. _The surreal moment_.

Kai should open his mouth and say something, too, instead of just gawking.

Sehun was watching him like Kai was the most confusing, curious creature he had ever come across but should be incredibly cautious of. Well, the feeling was mutual.

When Kai did not say anything and continued to glare at him, Sehun turned off the tap. For a moment, Kai thought the boy might just get fed up with Kai’s unusual antics and walk away. But Sehun stayed and waited for Kai to say something.

Maybe he was doing his part as a dutiful coordinator of the camp.

He jumped with a start again when Kai hurled the broken faucet handle into the sink and stomped away.

* * *

No one came looking for him when he retired to the cabin instead of joining everyone at the cafeteria for the performance from the coordinators. He lay awake, tossing and turning on his bed, with a million thoughts buzzing in his head.

He wondered what his mother might be up to right now. She was probably staying up tonight so that she could sleep on the plane tomorrow. She must be very relieved to not have Kai around for two whole months. It would be weird to not to see her for two months, though. In spite of everything, Kai would do anything to protect her. Even if he would have to start a war for it.

The majority of his thoughts, however, were unsurprisingly about one particular son of the Goddess of Love and Beauty. Kai had not heard much about the Goddess of Love and Beauty. His mother was the one who told him about all the gods and goddesses. She was obsessed with them. She had piles and piles of researches and books dating back decades in her office about them. He did remember her telling him that the Goddess of Love and Beauty was the most coveted of them all. By Gods and mortal men alike.

Kai had honestly thought that it was all an exaggeration. But if even her part human son could look so… unbelievable, he supposed the mother would knock anyone’s socks off.

Lara was just as beautiful, and she was always so present anywhere she went, too. But nothing about had crushed Kai the way the mere sight of Sehun had.

Groaning ferally, Kai covered his face with a pillow. He removed it after a while and started vacantly at the ceiling that was too close to his face.

“What is happening?” he whispered to the ceiling, as though it had all the answers. “What is… happening to me?”

He pressed a hand to his chest and sighed heavily at his pounding heartbeat.

He rarely regretted the consequences of his impulsive behaviour. But the small twinge in his stomach made him curse at himself for not having done or said anything to Sehun earlier for damage control after causing all that mess. Instead, he had only frightened the boy more.

He tried to take a few breaths and think of this pain inside him for a moment. Why was he obsessing over this boy? It had to be Sehun’s _gift._ Or more like a curse. Otherwise, why would he feel this way?

What was this feeling, in the first place? Was it… hate?

Kai had felt hate before. He felt it on the daily. This was stronger than hate. It was stronger than anything he had ever felt before. It felt like Death’s bony fingers were tightening around his throat every time he thought of Sehun.

It was not hate. Then what was it?

A… crush?

Kai had had crushes before. It was that brief feeling and butterflies in his stomach when he saw someone he thought was comely. Like Dana in seventh grade. Some crushes lasted longer than the others, but none had made him feel this sort of _physical_ pain in so many parts of his body.

He still had not recovered his breathing and at this point, he was sure that he was just being extremely dramatic.

Oh, god. If this really was some sort of weird infatuation, Kai could not think of anything worse.

Sehun, the son of the Goddess of _Love_ and Kai, the son of the God of _War._

But if it were just an infatuation, then it would pass with time. Kai would give it three days, max, for it to die out on its own.

That was it. It was an infatuation that he did not need to worry about because it really could not be anything more. Because he did not believe in anything more.

Everything that was happening to his big head was because of what his little head was doing in his pants. That was it.

He tried to look like he had not been moping for the past two hours when Dan and Keylan returned to the cabin, chuckling about something. They stopped when they saw Kai on the top bunk, his feet almost dangling over the end of the bed.

“Kai,” rasped Keylan. “You missed the performance!”

Kai tucked his hands under his head and stared at the ceiling again.

“It was hilarious,” added Keylan.

Dan was a little quieter and less excited as he sat on his bed to remove his shoes.

“You just disappeared after dinner,” Keylan pointed out. When Kai did not respond or even look at him, Keylan leaned over the railing of the top bunk and asked, “Do you… have an anger management issue like your father.”

Kai shot upright so fast that his head slammed against the ceiling and he groaned. Keylan backed away immediately, stifling a laugh behind a hand.

“Key,” Dan growled. “Do you have a death wish? Don’t ever mess with someone wound that tight.”

Rubbing his forehead, Kai turned to glare at them both. They were teasing him, and he could not believe it. Nobody who had teased him had ever gotten away without a broken nose.

But he was not reacting. Instead, he sat there on his bed, gawping at the two boys snicker at him.

“Chill, dude,” said Dan. “We want to be your friends! You don’t have to constantly give us your penance stare.”

Kai was speechless. Normally, he would have done something horrible by now. But he found Dan and Keylan’s teasing… tolerable? He might have even found their plucky attitude a little amusing.

Or maybe he simply did not have any energy left in him to strangle them.

He fell back on his bed and groaned, throwing an arm over his closed eyes.

“I’ll kill you guys tomorrow,” he muttered under his breath.

“We’ll be showered and ready for you in the morning,” promised Dan before he proceeding to snigger with Keylan.

“You did miss Lara and Sehun’s little concert, though,” said Keylan a while later. “It was a showstopper.”

Kai was quick to remove his arm from his eyes so that he could peer down at the other boy. Keylan blinked back at him, as though he were surprised by Kai’s unexpected interest.

Clenching his jaw, Kai dropped his head back on the pillow.

“I’m pretty sure I fell in love with both of them tonight,” sighed Keylan.

“Everyone is,” mumbled Dan. “But a little more with Lara. She has the voice of a nightingale.” He was quietly humming a love tune as he stripped down to his boxers before he climbed into his bed.

Tomorrow was going to be tougher. Kai really hoped that his theory about it all being just an infatuation was true. And that it was the worst-case scenario.

* * *

Kai proceeded to the bathroom, so early in the morning, in a sleepy daze. He did not dream about his father last night. Instead, he had had a string of nightmares, whose subject was… well, you know who it was.

He had never been grouchier in the morning. He was disappointed because the thoughts of Sehun still made his heart feel like it was being punched. But it was not as bad anymore. So, maybe it was fading already. Slowly, but surely.

He greeted no one and made absolutely no eye-contact as he entered a bathroom stall and removed his clothes before turning on the shower. He had no idea how the plumbing or water system worked here, but the water that rushed through the rusty showerhead was not too cold. Or perhaps his body had just been overheating since last night.

There were partitions between the stalls. Kai felt eyes on him from either side of his stall, but he ignored them as usual.

“You’re the newbie, right?” someone said from the next stall. Kai looked to him with a distasteful glare that quieted the boy at once.

Kai finished shampooing and washing his hair before he dried himself off with a towel and pulled on a pair of ripped faded blue jeans and red sneakers. He then exited the stall, running a hand through his wet hair to push it out of his face as he made his way back to the cabin, throwing the towel and dirty clothes over his shoulder.

Dan and Keylan were still sleeping when he left earlier. They did not even wake up when Kai deliberately slammed the door shut with more force than necessary.

“Oh,” a gasping voice stopped Kai all of a sudden, and he brought his head up to look at Lara, who was walking towards him. “Good morning, Kai.”

Fuck, she was glowing. With that sparkling eyes and ridiculous smile of hers. It was still too early for Kai to be making conversations he did not give two flying fucks about.

But he found himself waiting for her to reach him and say something.

Although no one could deny that Lara was _gorgeous_ , she did not share any feature with her brother. They looked completely different. Which was a good thing, because Kai did not think he could handle them both if they looked alike.

“You were missing at the performance last night,” she said. Of course, she was going to ask him about that.

Kai lifted a hand to scratch his wet head. He did not miss the way Lara’s eyes betrayed her for a moment and wandered to look at the flexing parts of Kai’s toned body.

“I was tired,” he said. It was not a lie per se.

“Oh,” Lara said, clearing her throat, as though she were embarrassed. “I understand. First day is always the hardest. But I hope you are prepared for today’s activities. We need Team Blue to win. Especially against my brother’s team.”

Kai felt his entire body tense up at the mention of her brother.

“We have a bet,” she elaborated with a soft chuckle. “Last year, his team won.”

Kai nodded curtly. “We’ll win,” he told her. And as though he had made her some great promise, she lit up like a Christmas tree.

Grinning from sea to shining sea, she said, “Awesome!”

She gave Kai’s bare arm – that was still wet with water beads – a quick pat before she skipped past him to greet the next person with a cheery good morning.

There was no sign of Sehun, fortunately.

* * *

His luck did not last too long because he saw Sehun at breakfast, nestled between two little children at a table. One of them was crying. Kai blindly made his way to a table, keeping his eyes on Sehun the entire time.

It looked like Sehun was trying to resolve some spat between those kids. And it seemed like he was doing a really good job because the kid quickly stopped crying and threw his arms around Sehun, burying his face in Sehun’s chest.

Kai’s heart nearly plopped out of his chest and onto the table. He was wrong. Those pains inside him had not subdued after all.

“Yoo-hoo?”

Kai blinked at Juan, who took his seat at the table, waving his hand before Kai’s face.

“Did you forget your food?” he asked.

It was then when Kai realized that he had only grabbed a tray. He glanced to Dan and Keylan, who were staring curiously at him. Groaning silently, Kai stood up and violently picked up his tray with one hand before walking over to the food station.

He started to hurriedly fill a bowl with oatmeal, so that he could return to his seat and watch Sehun.

The girl in front of him flashed him a lopsided grin, checking him out from head to toe. He had thrown on a beige long-sleeve, V-necked, T-shirt over his blue jeans, and neatened his hair back with some gel as usual. He should have shaven this morning, but he had not been in the mood to worry too much about the barely visible stubble on his jaw.

The kids who were showcasing their gifts in the cafeteria were driving him crazy. He wished that they would just shut up.

He was not sure why the girl continued to grin at him as she walked away from the food station, but he did not linger too long on that thought.

“Hi.”

That simple ‘hi’ nearly had Kai losing his grip on his tray, and he almost dropped it. But his fingers were quicker than the last time. He turned around, holding his breath.

Sehun smiled at him.

_Just an infatuation…_

_I need him or I won’t be okay…_

What was this irrational, completely ridiculous thought process?

None of it made any sense!

“You’re Kai, right?” asked Sehun. He was wearing jeans today, too. Black ones. And a white T-shirt inside a half-zipped blue hoodie. And on top of all that, he wore a red lanyard around his neck to broadcast that he was a coordinator at Camp Horizon.

He had pretty eyelashes. And… Well, he had pretty everything.

_Fuck him._

“I’m sorry about last night,” said Sehun. Kai was not that great at reading people, but he could tell that Sehun was struggling to speak. Even his smile looked so brittle that it might fall apart at any given moment.

Was it because Kai was a son of the God of War? Could Sehun sense the inherent animosity? Kai had to be the bane of Sehun’s existence, too, right?

Kai was everything Sehun was not. Kai would do everything Sehun would be against. How could they even be friends?

Not that Kai wanted to be _friends_ with him, anyway.

“I think… we got off on the wrong foot,” he added very diffidently, still trying to hold onto that smile that was making Kai’s knees weak.

Although Sehun was the one who looked like he might pass out any moment now.

Even his lips were quivering.

_Stop looking at his lips!_

Kai cleared his throat, and finally managed to drop his gaze to the unappetizing oatmeal in his bowl. He then looked up again and scowled. “You’re holding up the line,” he said unfeelingly, jerking his chin at the line that was growing behind Sehun. It was a cruel gesture.

With that, he turned on his heel and walked away.

He thought that he heard Sehun start to say something behind him, but he stopped himself.

Sehun sat with his girlfriend and the other coordinators for breakfast, and Kai occasionally looked up to glower at him when he was not looking.

* * *

“This activity is to build your team spirit!” announced Instructor Donna once everyone had gathered at the assembly arena and donned on their paintball gear. Juan seemed to be struggling with the vest, so Kai helped him. He scowled when Juan thanked him for it.

“The rules are simple,” said Instructor Lee. “You get hit, you’re out. Red team, red paint. Green team, green paint. And so on so forth. You get the gist.”

Kai glanced to Lara, who was practically shaking with excitement. Even under all that clunky paintball gear, she still managed to look graceful.

“An important rule,” said Donna. “You are not allowed to use your gifts.”

“Aw, come on!” yapped Dan. “That’s not fair.”

He must be pleading the rest of his group members’ case because he could certainly not make a convincing argument that his gift of making wine would be useful in a paintball fight.

“Those are the rules, Daniel,” said Donna.

Kai looked for Sehun in the crowd. He was easy to spot because he was so tall, and he was glowing as brightly as his sister. There was nothing but kindness, love and beauty in them.

“You’re on,” his girlfriend, Layla, shouted at him from her team. Team Green. Sehun was the leader of Team Red.

“You’re going down this year, Sehun!” Lara squawked from this side, and even then, she did not sound contemptible or mean.

Sehun only scoffed and picked up his gun, wielding it in a stylish manner that made it difficult for Kai to swallow.

“Guns at the ready!” Lee cried out. He then ushered the teams into the trees that surrounded the camp. “Winning team gets an amazing prize!”

Slowly, one by one, the teams disappeared into the woods.

Kai licked his lips and grabbed his own paintball gun before following his team into the trees.

* * *

Kai really did not have to use any of his gifts to promptly take out his opponents, one after another. He had had enough experience at this. It used to be a stress buster, and he and his mom had logged in a lot of hours of paintball fights amongst other activities, like go-kart, badminton, shooting range, boxing, anything that would help Kai let off some steam.

Within the second hour, they were down to four, all scattered away from one another.

Lara, Dan and Lisa were all eliminated a while ago. Only Juan and Kai remained, and honestly, no one had expected Juan to come this far.

When Kai eventually bumped into Juan, they agreed to divide and conquer. There were two of them left. One from Yellow and one from Red.

Juan took down the girl from Yellow before he received an unexpected red splatter on his back that sent him staggering forward.

Sehun did not linger around for too long as he ran past the trees. Kai gave Juan a pat on the shoulder when he found the boy cussing and growling in frustration on the ground.

“Which way did he go?” he asked.

Juan jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

Licking his lips and shoving his hair out of his eyes, he ran in the direction Sehun had gone.

Okay. This was not planned. He really did not want to engage with Sehun. He did not expect Sehun to last this long either. For someone who loved _love_ and not _war_ , he sure was an expert on the latter.

Kai felt all worked up now. He wanted to win against Sehun more than anything. So, he decided to risk facing Sehun again. Maybe even tackling him. Maybe none of this work out. Maybe he would freeze like he had been doing every time he saw Sehun. Maybe he would die from embarrassment.

He must have taken a route much different from Sehun’s because he had somehow managed to get ahead of Sehun. He spotted the boy running towards him, unawares. Grinning, Kai hid himself behind a tree and held the gun in place.

As soon as Sehun was close enough, he pounced on the boy, crashing violently against Sehun’s body, and tackled him to the ground.

Fuck. Talk about _baaaad_ ideas.

Kai did indeed freeze. Right on top of Sehun.

Sehun smelled like the forest now. The loam, the grass, the trees. Beneath all the layers of the paintball gear, his skin was warm and probably very smooth.

Kai’s head was going haywire just from thinking all these stupid thoughts.

He scrambled off of Sehun and finally stood up, panting like he had been running a marathon.

Sehun did not get up. Instead, he propped himself up on his elbows, one hand still holding the gun, and looked up at Kai, chest heaving.

Kai froze again. He was gawking at Sehun in… _that_ position. Sweating, hair all mussed up, on his elbows, knees drawn up, heels of his feet planted firmly into the dirt, gasping for air.

Sehun was staring back at him, too. Particularly at Kai’s throat, where the Adam’s apple was bobbing up and down, over and over again because Kai could not stop swallowing. He was practically frothing at the mouth.

And then in a quick movement, Sehun lifted the gun towards Kai.

The blue paint splattered on Sehun’s chest before he could even pull the trigger.

Shocked, Sehun’s jaw fell slack. He stared at Kai for a moment before he looked down at the blue paint on his vest. He dropped his hand that was holding up the gun towards Kai.

The horn blared in the background.

Lara came running towards them out of nowhere.

“Yes!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. She probably did not think twice before she threw herself onto Kai, hugging the life out of him. “Yes! Yes! We won! We won!”

Kai did not pull away from her embrace, surprisingly enough. When he glanced over her shoulder to Sehun, he found the boy smiling with an odd gratification as he pushed himself up and brushed off the dirt and twigs sticking to his clothes.

“Great game,” he told his sister and Kai.

As he walked away this time, he looked back at Kai.


	3. Chapter 3

# Chapter Three

Kai was not sure if he liked the attention and sudden gush of admiration around the camp for him. He had participated in countless sports events – and won most of the time – but no one had ever appreciated him like this. Which was fair, because oftentimes, Kai did not know if he won because he had unknowingly utilized his gifts.

Praises and appreciations made him uncomfortable. The eyes that were previously looking at him with wariness and judgment were now regarding him with reverence and slightly flirty suggestiveness. The female ones, mostly.

And it was all over a paintball fight, whose prize was a small trophy and unlimited amount of s’mores. A scoreboard now stood on the platform in the assembly area, with Team Blue’s plank at the top. Followed by Red, Yellow, Green and Purple.

Kai would not deny that it would be a paintball fight he’d remember for the next five decades. The image of Sehun on the ground, breathless, knees spread apart from where Kai had been a moment ago after tackling him to the ground, hair tousled, cheeks red, lips parted. A complete dishevelment that was now etched into Kai’s memories forever.

Though he was uncomfortable, he welcomed the discomfort of the sudden attention he was being showered with. It was better than chewing his brain out with that provocative image of Sehun earlier, which would certainly keep him up tonight, too. Not to mention the fact that Kai still remembered how he smelled.

Earthy, with a touch of musky cologne.

It was driving him insane again. He looked up at Keylan, who was walking towards him to join him and Dan on the log they were perched on. Dan was gnawing into a cob of corn. Kai’s plate of food was pretty much untouched in his hands.

The over sixteen batch had their dinner around a campfire today. There were barbecued hot wings, corns on the cob, charred vegetables, and lots and lots of marshmallows.

Everyone had taken their seats around the campfire with their own group of friends and roommates.

“Congratulations again, guys,” Keylan said before he sank his teeth into a juicy chicken wing.

Dan grinned at Kai, nudging his shoulder playfully against Kai’s, as though to say, ‘good job’.

Although it must be around nine o’clock, there was still some daylight left. There was constant chattering around him. All the overlapping conversations made Kai’s ears ring for a moment. He stared restlessly into the campfire, trying to concentrate on the cracking of the firewood instead.

“Hey,” Lara’s chirpy voice instantly averted his attention.

His eyes widened in surprise when she settled on the log beside him with her plate. Should she not be hanging out with the more popular kids at the camp?

Dan straightened up so fast on Kai’s other side to wipe any remnants of corn from his mouth before he peeped over Kai to flash a smile at Lara.

“You have won me my first paintball war, Kai,” she said, gracefully picking up a grilled stalk of asparagus. “Thanks for that.”

She genuinely seemed to be grateful. How could a paintball war mean so much to her? How could this camp mean so much to her? She did everything with her whole heart, even the most trivial things that meant absolutely nothing to Kai. How could anyone be this loving and sincere towards everything she did? She was going to rule the world someday, Kai thought.

“And I know my brother is no easy opponent,” she said, scoffing a little, and even that was a pleasant sound. Kai wondered if there was anything that would set her off and bring down her seemingly indestructible walls. Anything that would make her lose her unshakeable composure.

Was he wondering about her or about her brother?

“Yeah,” he let out, looking down at his plate. He finally picked up a hunk of potato and stuffed it into his mouth. “He almost got me.”

Lara smiled. She waited until she had swallowed her food to speak again. “He excels at everything he does.”

Was she complaining about him or bragging about him? Kai could not tell, but she did not look frustrated. In fact, she looked very happy.

“How good is your swimming?” she asked all of a sudden.

Kai shrugged. “Good,” he said.

“It will be difficult to beat Aila or Dominic,” she sighed. “But we can try.”

“Who’s Aila and Dominic?”

“Aila’s a daughter of the Goddess of Speed,” she said, pointing to a platinum-haired girl on the other side of the campfire. “And Dominic is a son of the God of the Sea.” He was sitting nearby, but not within earshot.

“Whose teams are they on?”

“Green and Red.” She perked up again. “But it doesn’t matter. Our team has one win so far! It’s good enough for now. We’re in the lead.”

Wow, she was taking this very seriously.

Kai was so grateful that Lara looked nothing like her half-brother. Otherwise, this would have been very awkward and difficult.

He did not think much of Lara’s charisma and gentility, her culture and good manners. But her energy was undeniable. It made Kai uneasy and relaxed. Like he knew for certain that she was not a threat, so he did not need to be hostile towards her. But he also did not agree with her values. He had managed to figure Lara out.

It was not as easy with her brother. Kai felt the need to be hostile, to be angry, to be warlike in order to protect himself around Sehun. Otherwise, he was afraid that he’d be borne open for Sehun to… fix him. And he did not want to be fixed. There was nothing to be fixed. Sehun’s mere presence was doing things to him, things he did not like, things that pained him and had his insides in a grinder.

Something about Sehun kept blaring in Kai’s head like a warning alarm. _Run… the… other… way…!_

He exuded love everywhere he went. It was as clear as day that Sehun was cherished by every single person at this camp, and probably by everyone in his life. Not a day of hardship. Not a day of crippling loneliness. He was a beacon of love, hope and beauty. How could people not adore someone like him? He was so _perfect._ Screw that guy who said, ‘no one is perfect’. Well, he clearly had not met Sehun.

Kai could not believe he was a tad bit envious. Okay, maybe _a lot_.

He wondered if there was anything that would ruffle Sehun’s feathers. That would bare _him_ open and leave him all vulnerable. Something that would break his bubble wrap and bravado and his infectious spirit. Kai was suddenly visited by another image, whose obscenity made his face hot.

He shook the thought away and looked for Sehun around the campfire. It did not take too long to spot him, because he would stand out in any crowd, in any darkness.

People flocked around him like flies around a fresh bowl of strawberries.

He never looked grumpy. He truly looked like he loved each and every one of them. Except Kai, of course.

Kai had not given him a single reason to even _like_ him since he came here.

“Isn’t he pretty?”

Kai coughed, choking, even though he was not eating anything. He looked to Lara in horror and scowled. “What?”

Smirking, Lara licked some buffalo sauce off her index finger and said, “It’s okay. Everyone stares at him for a moment too long. He’s used to it. I think, _we’re_ used to it.”

Kai fumbled for words. “I… don’t know what you’re talking about.”

It was the lamest response ever.

Lara only grinned wider. “Although, I can’t really tell. You do look like you want to chuck a rock at my brother’s head.”

Kai blinked and looked away, trying not to give anything away by fucking blushing now.

He wished that she would leave him alone.

* * *

Later that night, when the sky was finally dark and starry, Juan sat down with a guitar and began to dazzle everyone with a song. He took his seat a little too close to the fire and did not even flinch. Kai was not paying attention, mostly because he was trying to watch Sehun – and his girlfriend, who was cosily settled on Sehun’s lap – without being caught.

 _What am I doing…?_ He wanted to hit himself in the head.

He was obsessing over someone. Someone so out of his league. Someone who was the polar opposite of him. Someone who already had a girlfriend. And someone who was a boy.

And not to mention he was against everything Kai stood for. And vice versa.

“She’s really hot, isn’t she?” Dan whispered into Kai’s ear, catching him staring at Sehun and consequently, Layla.

“What?” Kai winced.

“You better stop at dreaming, though,” said Dan. “Her father is the sole sponsor of this camp. He’s loaded. And she’s gorgeous. Now that I think about it, she’s been eyeing Sehun since we were like fifteen. Can’t believe Sehun only took that hot piece on a ride last winter. I would have hit that years ago.”

Kai glanced over to Sehun again, this time a little more confidently, since he found out that he could get away with the excuse of wanting to look at Layla.

She was muttering something into Sehun’s ear, which made Sehun smile sheepishly. He replied something, as though to be polite, and quickly returned his attention to Juan.

Layla leaned in one more time, arms locked around Sehun’s neck.

Kai watched Sehun’s lips press into a very thin, fragile smile. His arms were also coming loose around his girlfriend’s waist.

And just then, his eyes caught Kai’s.

Neither of them looked away. Kai was not sure he wanted to, now that he was caught red-handed, anyway.

He must have been glaring, because Sehun’s smile disappeared, and he was simply staring back at Kai with an indifferent expression. Slowly, some red painted his cheeks, and Kai could not get over how beautifully the light from the campfire hit a side of Sehun’s face.

It would be completely all right if Kai died like this right? There were worse ways to go.

His breath was stuck somewhere in his throat. His body was suddenly overheating again.

He wanted to know what was going on in Sehun’s mind right now. Kai wanted to know what he was thinking, staring back at him like that. Was he messing with Kai? Or had he figured it out? What could he have figured out, exactly? That Kai was crushing on him so hard that his heart was punching him from the inside? That Kai was on full DEFCON 1 level panic mode every time he saw him? How melodramatic Kai could be when he was struck with an instant infatuation like this?

It had never happened before. So, _how_ could he come out of this alive? He did not know. He wished someone would tell him.

He was suddenly missing his mother. She would understand this, wouldn’t she? He was not one to share his deepest, darkest secrets with his mother. Hell, he would not even tell her if he were writhing in some sort of pain for days after a fight with someone on the street.

But he wanted to tell her about this.

He wanted to tell her how painful this whole process was. He wanted her to give him the solution.

And for once, he would listen to her.

He tore his gaze from Sehun, realizing his heart was overbeating. Even though he had looked away, he knew Sehun was still looking at him.

* * *

The wooden lampposts allowed plenty of light, as the dying embers of the campfire were put out with a bucket of water. But only after Juan had tried – unsuccessfully – to put it out with his gift.

Everyone, but a few, had already retired to their respective cabins, yawning and eager to get into their beds after a day of wearying activities. After the paintball fight, there were more team-building exercises. Dan was not kidding when he said he wanted to be Kai’s friend, because he was always so supportive, and he constantly cheered for everything Kai did. Except when Kai was up against Lara. Then of course, his dick did the cheering for him. Like during the tic-tac-toe exercise.

Keylan and Dan did not wait around to clean up afterwards. Kai considered hurrying back to the cabin, too. But he still had so much pent-up energy and frustration that he figured it could not hurt to lug around some heavy things for a while.

So, he stayed back with the coordinators who were busy cleaning up. Lara noticed when Kai bent down to pick up a few solo cups discarded on the ground and smiled, like a proud mother.

Kai ignored her, although his chest warming up. He wasn’t sure if he liked the recognition, but he did not think ill of Lara’s appreciation, at least.

“Come on,” one of the coordinators – the one called Arjun, the leader of team Yellow – called to Eric, the leader of Team Purple. He was always so gloomy, for some reason. Kai wondered if he were related to the God of Sorrow. Groaning and grunting, they began to lift a log from the ground to take it to the storage shed.

Kai did not interfere, but when he saw Layla and Lara struggling to lift another log, he lunged towards them and stretched an arm out under the log they were trying to hold up. Quickly balancing the log on a shoulder, he retrieved it from their hands.

They stopped in their tracks to gape at him. “You’re _strong_?” Layla asked, blurting it out like she was in shock.

Kai effortlessly carried the log to the shed before returning to take the others in.

“Okay, that’s just unfair,” scoffed Layla, crossing her arms over her chest while watching Kai drag two logs over to the shed simultaneously without breaking a sweat. She was talking to Lara. “You have an upper hand. You guys are going to win everything.”

Lara rolled her eyes while she was picking up trash. “You have Aila on your team, Layla,” she said.

Now to think about it, Kai was the one who had taken out ‘the fast one’ during the paintball war. Even though they were told to not to use their gifts, he could tell that Aila could not help it. She was caught in the moment. It happened to Kai, too. Moments when he simply did not realize that he was using his strength.

The entire time, Layla did not take her eyes off of Kai, though. Was she impressed or annoyed? There was no telling, but she was looking at Kai like she was looking at him for the first time.

Kai had changed his clothes after a bath earlier in the evening. He wished he had not because he was just sweating through the ones he was wearing now. He removed the red-black-white checked shirt he was wearing on top of a white T-shirt and tied it around his waist before he proceeded to pick up another log.

He stopped, bent over, when he saw a pair of sneakered feet come to a halt beside him. His heart skipped a beat as he slowly craned his head up to look at Sehun, smiling down at him, fingers laced at his front. He looked like a schoolboy, waiting for his teacher to give him a gold star.

Kai straightened up and tried not to think too much about how much he liked Sehun in this denim jacket.

“Thank you for staying behind to help,” he said.

_He is just being polite. He is just being polite. Don’t snarl at him. Don’t ruin this again._

Sucking in a shaky breath, Kai gave him a curt nod, praying that he was not scowling too much.

He must not have, because Sehun was still smiling. In fact, his smile widened, and his cheeks turned rosy.

He did not hesitate for another second to hold out a hand between them. If Kai did not freeze every time he shared the same physical space as Sehun, he would have jumped back.

“I’m Sehun, by the way,” said Sehun, as though everyone in the camp did not already know who he was. And Kai must have uttered that name in his sleep last night like at least forty times.

Still, this was… nice.

Kai licked his lips, eyes staring painstakingly at Sehun’s hand. He was memorizing every detail about it. His fingertips and palm were so pink they made Kai’s heartbeat faster. His fingers were bony but slender and very long.

Kai felt like his throat was full of wet sand.

“Uh,” he croaked at long last. “Kai.”

Sehun was still waiting for Kai to take his hand, and it did not seem like he was going away until he got what he wanted. He really looked determined.

When Kai started wiping his right hand on his jeans, Sehun let out that breathy chuckle that made the fine hairs on the back of Kai’s neck stick up.

With his now clean hand, Kai very reluctantly took Sehun’s warm hand. It was not at all as electric or shocking as Kai had imagined it would be. It felt like any other handshake, but he might have squeezed Sehun’s hand a little too hard because Sehun quickly retrieved it. He took half a second to inspect his hand before he faced Kai again with a smaller smile.

“Where are you from?” he inquired, sounding genuinely interested and curious, rather than to just make conversation.

Kai briefly glanced to the others who were busy cleaning up so that they could to bed, too.

“Uh, Flake Valley,” Kai muttered at length.

“Oh. I live far from there. Midburrow.”

Kai did not know where that was, but he nodded his head. When Sehun returned to picking up trash from the ground, Kai thought that their conversation was now over.

But then Sehun asked, with a trash bag in one hand, “What do you think of the camp so far? I know it’s your first time.”

Kai tried to ignore his shouting heart. “It’s not really my first time.”

Sehun straightened up and blinked at him. “What?”

Kai grabbed the log and placed it on his shoulder. He did not miss the way Sehun’s eyes promptly looked to the protruding veins in Kai’s folded arm around the log. Fuck, he should not be blushing.

Kai quickly turned around and walked toward the shed.

When he returned, Sehun was in the exact same spot, still waiting for clarification.

“Yeah,” sighed Kai, pretending to be distracted by the paper plates and cups on the ground. Sehun held the trash bag open, and Kai bit his lip as he closed the distance between them to throw the garbage into the bag. “I came here when I was eleven.”

“Really?” Sehun truly looked surprised. “And you haven’t been here until now?”

Kai shook his head. Sehun wanted to know why, but he was just too polite to impose. “I accidentally burned down a cabin and got kicked out.”

“You… burned down a cabin?” Sehun let out, eyebrows raised. Kai could not tell if he were surprised or amused.

“No one was hurt,” Kai said.

Sehun smirked then. “So, you don’t plan on burning anything this time?”

He was joking. At least, Kai hoped.

He kept looking anywhere but at Sehun. His shoes, the trees, the cabins, all the crap on the ground, the smoking dead campfire.

“Depends on how angry people make me.”

Sehun’s smile faltered. “Oh.”

Kai decided that he very much liked it when Sehun was tongue-tied. It was cute, and it made his chest tight.

“Well,” said Sehun. “You can’t do that. But if you need anything, you’re more than welcome to ask for my help.”

Kai licked his lips nervously, staring past Sehun’s shoulder at the dark forest in the distance.

“And you are allowed make eye-contact, Kai,” Sehun said, laughing softly.

Kai looked up at Sehun at once, meeting his eyes, frankly mortified.

Did Sehun _want_ him to make eye-contact?

Kai needed a moment to breathe. Thankfully, Sehun gave his arm a chuck on the arm as he walked past.

“Babe,” he heard Layla call after Sehun behind him. He looked over his shoulder and saw her kissing Sehun goodnight before she hurried away to her own cabin.

* * *

The first week was not easy. But that was mostly because Sehun was there everywhere Kai turned and there were very few opportunities for Kai to relieve his frustrations – including the sexual one.

He had, however, gotten past his desires to murder anyone at the camp. Dan and Keylan were not too exasperating, except when they insisted on singing in the dead of the night. Dan mostly talked about girls, and Keylan loved talking about his pet dog, Otis. Kai silently listened. When his mind was not elsewhere.

During the day, they were kept busy with all sorts of activities. Some were repetitive, but most were new and exciting. It was the only time Kai got to release his locked-up energy.

Every day, there was one ‘big activity’ that would put score on the board for the different teams. And during these activities, the general rule was that no one could use their gifts. But the instructors did not also notice when someone broke that rule. By the end of the week, Blue was still on the lead, with Red following very close behind.

The final ‘big activity’ of the week was a swimming relay race.

Kai was a decent swimmer, but he knew he was not a great one. Still, he was excited to spend some time in a body of water.

It was also, coincidentally, the hottest day of the week.

As they headed for the river through the woods, Keylan sidled next to Kai. “Look, look!” he said, pointing to some kid that was making a young tree bend towards him with one wave of his hand. “His mom is the Goddess of Nature.”

Dan was walking up ahead with Lara, Lisa and Juan.

Eventually, Keylan skipped away to join his own team.

“Hey.”

Sehun had the knack for showing up when Kai least expected it.

Kai turned and found Sehun at his side. Last time he had checked, Sehun was walking way up ahead. Did he fall behind? To talk to Kai?

“Hey,” Kai managed to get out. Over the last couple of days, he had grown some balls to speak to Sehun without fumbling for words or letting his voice crack.

“You look happy today,” he pointed out, smiling.

Kai blinked. “I do?”

He wondered what exactly gave him away. He was not exactly grinning. Perhaps it was one of Sehun’s gifts. To be infuriatingly observant, never missing a trick.

He was wearing that bloody lanyard around his neck again. His tag bore his name, a cute picture, and the word ‘COORDINATOR’ in bold.

He was carrying a small knapsack, too. Like Kai. Probably carrying some towels, swimming trunks, and blankets.

They were informed yesterday that they would be having a picnic by the river after the race.

“Yeah,” replied Sehun.

“Uh…”

“I hope you don’t take it as an offense.”

Kai blinked at him again. “Why… would I?”

Sehun laughed, shrugging. It was the prettiest thing ever. “Isn’t it your thing to be grouchy all the time?”

Kai stopped walking, staring at Sehun in disbelief.

Sehun stopped too. He was not smiling anymore. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to tease you.”

Kai was not mad, for once. He was just… dumbstruck.

He was not sure if it was because he did not realize Sehun had been paying more attention to him than he had realized or because he was disappointed that Sehun thought of him as a grouch. He had never cared about what anyone thought about him before.

“And is giddy optimism and annoying levels of nauseating fondness _your_ thing?” Kai was saying all that before giving it a second thought.

It was Sehun’s turn to be dumbstruck. His expression was full of shock and disbelief. Kai huffed a breath and shoved past him to keep up with the others.

Sehun did not talk to him again for the rest of the walk.

* * *

The river water was colder than Kai had thought it would be. He did not complain about it, however. The river was wide and deep, its current weak and highly manageable.

It was beautiful here. And Kai was not usually one to appreciate the beauty in nature or some shit like that.

But this was truly a sight to behold. The air also smelled fresher out here. He could feel the beat of the river beneath the soles of his feet.

When the race began, Lisa started it. Juan was next, followed by Dan, then Kai and finally Lara crossed the finish line, third.

Aila came in first, putting Team Green before Yellow now on the scoreboard. Dominic was indeed very fast. Even though he did not technically ‘use’ his gifts, the water still knew who he was and it made things easy for him. Sehun was a better swimmer than Kai had expected. He really needed to learn to not to underestimate the boy by now.

He was an incredibly graceful swimmer. He must have been doing forever. He started first for his team, so Kai got to see him in action. He was so good that Kai was quickly distracted from his chiselled, fair and smooth body.

He nearly had a heart attack when Sehun removed his shirt and shimmied out of his pants. He was already wearing his swimming trunks underneath. Fuck, Kai was never going to forget the map of muscles on his chest and back anytime soon. Part of him felt very guilty for ogling the boy with such lewd, unforgivable intentions.

Sehun’s team managed to come in second in the race mostly thanks to him and Dominic, nudging the team to the top spot on the scoreboard now, pushing Blue to second place.

Lara did not seem too upset about it because she had expected this outcome. She congratulated both her brother and his girlfriend for their wins before she turned to console her team.

Kai did not really care about the scores or the race right now. He wanted to take another swim. Especially to hide the monstrosity that was growing in his swimming trunks after seeing Sehun walk around shirtless, completely oblivious to just what it was all doing to Kai.

They had brought portable speakers, so there was music as people sprawled onto their blankets. There were some snacks and drinks, too.

Kai stayed in the water with some other kids for as long as he could, which was until parts of his body began to shrivel up.

He decided to climb out of the water at some point and join Dan, Juan and Keylan on the riverbank.

“Damn,” Juan commented carelessly, lowering his sunglasses to whistle at Kai. “You’re a total smoke show, huh? And packing with capital P.”

Kai froze, face burning. He wanted to stuff a fist in Juan’s mouth. He looked around to see if anyone else had heard that atrocious comment.

Everyone had because everyone was looking at him now. Including Sehun, who was sitting on a blanket with his sister and girlfriend. He had put his shirt back on, fortunately, but now, he was staring at Kai. Then suddenly, as though he had been slapped across the face, he looked away, taking a sip of his drink.

Kai gave Juan’s shoulder a light kick as he strode past him. “Ow! I’m just complimenting you!”

Kai withdrew a pair of sweatpants from his knapsack and pulled it over his wet trunks. He then settled on the blanket behind Dan before pulling on a grey T-shirt, which quickly became splotchy from the water and his dripping hair.

He was exhausted, but not as exhausted as the others. Racing against a current, even a weak one, was not easy.

No one wanted to walk back to the camp right away.

Even Lara seemed beat. She had her head resting on Sehun’s lap as she read a book.

Every now and then, Kai would catch Sehun looking his way, but only because he was looking in Sehun’s way.

Was he thinking too much about this?

Would it be so bad if he actually made a move on Sehun?

Did he… want to make a move on Sehun? Also, did that mean murder? Or… something worse?

He glanced at Sehun again and waited until Sehun caught his gaze. One… Two… Three… Four… And Sehun looked at him.

Kai exhaled a couple of heavy breaths and rubbed his neck.

“Where are you going?” asked Dan when Kai stood up.

“I need to take a walk and… piss.”

“Okay.”

Kai chewed on the inside of his cheek as he wandered into the trees. He was not sure where he was going or if he really even needed to take a piss, but he kept walking. Slowly, listening to the music fade in the background.

He eventually came to a stop and leaned his back against a tree, hands tucked between the small of his back and the tree. He hung his head low, staring at his bare feet.

“Bored already?”

Kai’s head whipped up to look at Sehun, who was walking towards him, smiling and blushing.

_Fuck._

Sehun went to stand under the tree across Kai, leaning against it, crossing his arms over his chest.

Why was he doing this? Wasn’t he the observant one? Could he not figure out that Kai really did not want to be followed, especially by him? Or maybe he really was observant, and he had called Kai on his bullshit.

The latter terrified Kai.

If Sehun knew, then why was he even talking to Kai? Was he teasing him? Maybe this was amusing to him. There was a camp full of people for him to torture, but maybe he had made Kai his target.

God, Kai really was overthinking this.

“No,” muttered Kai, looking at Sehun’s feet now. “Just needed a walk.”

Sehun scoffed like he was about to laugh.

Kai raised his head but quickly looked away to the trees. “What’s so funny?”

Maybe he was. Maybe Sehun found him funny. Trying too hard to be grouchy. A joke.

“You still won’t make eye-contact when you talk to me,” said Sehun.

Kai kept staring at the trees. His heart was thundering in his chest. He was so scared that Sehun would be able to hear it.

“Is it written somewhere that I have to?” Kai snapped, sounding harsher than he wanted to.

Sehun fell quiet.

Kai looked to him then, just to see his expression. It was blank. He was staring at Kai, as though if he concentrated hard enough, he could finally read Kai’s thoughts.

“Have you ever had wild berries?” Sehun asked all of a sudden, pulling away from the tree. He walked toward a messy shrub and started plucking some dark-coloured berries. “They’re delicious.”

“How do you know they’re not poisonous?” asked Kai.

“I take a leap of faith.”

“Sounds like a pretty big leap to me.”

Sehun turned around and grinned again, holding out a handful of berries. Gnawing at his lower lip for a moment, Kai tore away from the tree and picked a berry from Sehun’s palm.

“Do you take a lot of leaps of faith?” he asked Sehun, inspecting the berry.

Sehun popped one into his mouth. “I suppose. Don’t you?”

“Well, my mother freaks out if I add an extra spoon of sugar in my coffee.”

Sehun blushed at that, and Kai wondered what he was thinking.

“Trust me,” he said.

And fuck, Kai _did._

He ate the berry and did not regret it. It was mostly sweet with a hint of sourness.

“Do you live with your mother?” Sehun asked, although he took a moment to enjoy the way Kai silently appreciated the tasty berry he had offered.

Kai nodded.

They started walking together, away from the river and the noise.

“What is she doing?”

“Why do you care?” Kai bit his tongue as soon as he said it.

Sehun sighed. “Not everyone is after you, Kai. I just… want to get to know you better.”

_Yes, but WHY?_

Kai did not ask him that. “She’s a realtor.”

“And she’s…”

“Single, yeah.”

Sehun nodded, as if he was taking copious notes in his head. They walked in silence for a moment with a very safe distance between them. Nowhere near the hand-holding distance.

“My stepmom’s a neurosurgeon and my dad’s is a software developer,” Sehun said eventually.

Kai wanted to say that he did not care, but he did. He wanted to know everything about Sehun. Inch by inch.

“I’m not bragging, by the way,” he said, although Kai was not thinking that. Sehun did not look like the bragger type, even though he certainly should be.

“Then why tell me?” Kai could not help but ask.

Sehun shrugged. “I guess I have a lot of pressure on my back to keep up with them.”

“I’m sure you’d have no problem with that.”

Sehun came to a stop to look up at Kai. He was silent for a long moment, trying hard to look at Kai’s eyes, that just would not stay still. He smiled and said, “You don’t really know me, Kai.”

“Likewise, but you didn’t wait a beat to conclude that I’m a grouch.”

Sehun’s face grew redder. “I’m sorry about that. I really did not mean to insult you. I was just…”

Kai exhaled heavily. “Forget about it.”

They started walking again.

“Do you ever,” Sehun broke the silence once more. “feel like you don’t belong here?”

Kai scoffed. “I’m sure all of us do.”

“Yes, but… we’re really helpless. We have to pretend like we’re like everyone else. It’s frustrating.”

Why was he telling all this to Kai?

Kai halted and faced Sehun with a scowl now. “What are you doing?”

Sehun blinked confusedly. “Just… talking?”

“Why are you talking about _this?_ ”

“I…”

Kai snorted, shaking his head, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “I don’t need your little pep talk, okay? I like the way I’m built.”

Sehun’s eyebrows furrowed into a frown. It felt good to see his calm and optimistic demeanour shattered, even for a fraction of a second. “I’m not trying to… convince you of anything.”

“Yeah? You couldn’t talk about this to your sister? Or your girlfriend? You really followed me out here to talk about how _frustrating_ it is to have everyone fawn over how perfect and beautiful you are?”

Sehun winced, and Kai stiffened.

What had he just said…?

Sehun flushed red all the way from the tip of his ears to his neck.

Kai swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to do some damage control. “You think you’re saying something I need to hear, but I really don’t. So, just mind your own business.”

As he marched away with his heart in his throat, he really wanted to turn back, take everything back and maybe find out what it would feel like to kiss that smug, complacent smile off Sehun’s lips.


	4. Chapter 4

# Chapter Four

At the beginning of the following week, Team Red was still in the lead on the scoreboard, with Team Blue treading closely behind.

Kai began to pay closer attention to the others, learning more about them and their gifts, anything that could help him beat them in the upcoming challenges. It also kept him partly distracted from obsessing over just one person at the camp. Besides, Sehun must have gotten the hint after their last – tense – engagement because he did not try to approach or talk to Kai again over the weekend.

It was both a relief and torture. This was what Kai had wanted, right? To keep Sehun at bay at all times? Then why was he beating himself up over how harsh he had been to the boy that day at the river? Why did he feel a strong urge to approach Sehun himself and apologize?

The only thing holding him back right now was the visceral fear of exacerbating his infatuation by trying to mend their relationship, which was still stuck on its very primal stage.

Kai’s strength came in handy at the camp. Both the coordinators and instructors constantly sought him out to lift this or move that. During some of the smaller activities, where everyone was allowed to use their gifts to their advantage, Kai was encouraged to release his pent-up energy. For instance, like which team could chop up the most firewood – which was a very practical exercise, because they needed the firewood – in the given time frame. Kai won, of course. Without even having to tag in any of his other teammates.

It had annoyed Layla, and she complained about it, but she did not stop gawking at him. Especially afterwards – when Kai was bathed in sweat, with his chest heaving as he swung the axe and hurled it into the tree stump. Funnily enough, Sehun was also staring, face all pink.

The other activities were not as favourable to him. Dominic won the ‘Who Could Drink the Most Cups of Water in One Minute’ challenge with no hassle at all. Keylan used his ability to wield the summer sun’s rays to win the ‘Find the Marbles in the Dark, Murky Water’ challenge.

Kai would never admit it, but he was beginning to enjoy himself at the camp a little more than he was hoping to.

He became popular around the camp quickly. Every day, someone new walked up to him to say hi or to flirt. The younger kids stayed away from him, though. Probably because he snarled at them every time they scuttered past him.

* * *

Mealtime was the worst because there were not many distractions, and Sehun always sat at the table that was perfectly in Kai’s view. Sometimes, Sehun would turn his head and look directly at Kai, as though he too knew where Kai was at, at all times.

They would both look away then. One… Two… Three… Four, and again, their eyes would meet.

This became a regular thing. And Kai liked it as much as he hated it.

At breakfast one day, Layla caught Sehun lost in his own thoughts, while his gaze was still lingering on Kai. She gave Sehun’s arm a light shove before asking him something.

Even though Kai could not hear her, he could make out what she was saying.

“What’s wrong? What are you looking at?”

Sehun quickly shook his head and turned to her with a smile. He then leaned in, as though to whisper something into Layla’s ear.

Layla pulled back and tilted her head at an angle before she looked in Kai’s way.

 _Fuck_.

Kai dropped his gaze at once.

When he looked up again, Sehun and Layla were engaged in some serious conversation, like they were discussing something very important… about Kai.

Layla nodded in the end, not at all looking displeased. What did Sehun tell her, Kai wondered.

After breakfast, everyone was asked to gather at the assembly arena, where the instructors gave them the instructions and rules for the activity of the day.

“We’ll be playing, ‘Tag You’re It’ today!” announced Donna.

“Yes!” Keylan exclaimed at Kai’s side, along with others. It must be a popular game, because everybody seemed to be familiar with it and excited about it.

“So, just chasing people around?” Kai asked Dan.

“No,” chuckled Dan. “Well, yes. But we have to rip their tags off. Then they’re out. The last person standing wins a point for the team.” He pointed to his individual team colour Velcro armband around his upper arm. Kai took a look at his own.

“By any means necessary?” he asked Dan, arching an eyebrow.

Dan jerked his chin towards the instructors.

“Now, you can run, hide, pursue, tackle,” said Donna. “What you can’t do is use your powers, as usual. The horn will be sounded when the game is over.”

“Okay, guys,” Lara said, rounding her team up. “Here’s the game plan.” She was looking at Kai when she said that. “Take out the slow ones first. That way, we’ll retain some energy when we get to the stronger ones.”

Like Eric, Dominic, Aila and Sehun.

“Juan,” said Lara. “I want you to focus on Team Yellow. Dan, Team Green. Lisa, Team Purple. Kai and I will take on Team Red. That doesn’t mean you can’t pursue someone if they’re closer to you.”

“Can I switch with Dan?” asked Kai, and Dan started grinning. He was not sure if he were wingman-ing Dan, or if he just did not want to deal with Sehun’s team.

“No,” said Lara, in the nicest way possible. “They’re a tough team. I need _you_ to take on them.”

“None taken,” Dan scoffed.

“All right, guys,” said Lara. “On three.” Everyone brought their hands in for their new gimmick, which Kai hated. “Team Blue!”

* * *

Kai did not realize how much more challenging this would be compared to the paintball fight. He did not have a gun to take someone out from a long range this time. He had to get up close and personal with them in order to rip their tags off. And even though he harboured so much more energy than most of them, some of them were good at running and hiding and dodging. And all of them, except him of course, had played this game before. So, each of them had their own strategy.

Not giving in to his impulses to use his strength when he was tackling an opponent was the hardest part of it. He was frustrated and every time someone nudged an elbow into his ribs to break his grip, or wriggled aggressively, he felt a strong desire to smack them across their skulls.

Three hours into the game, Kai managed to rip two tags off. One red and one green.

Lisa was out. Lara was good at hiding, so she still persisted. Dan and Juan were physically strong enough to tackle the girls. But Eric effortlessly caught Juan in a headlock before he ripped the tag off at last.

Kai eventually ran into Lara, who jumped before she realized it was only him.

Bending low, she gripped her knees and panted. “How many left?” she asked.

Keeping his hands on the sides of his waist, Kai said, “Not many, I think. A couple from each team. Dan is still good. Juan is out.”

Lara straightened up and sighed. “We need to take Dominic, Eric and my brother out.”

“Can’t seem to spot them.”

“Yeah. They’ve been playing this game since they were like ten.” She groaned. It was kind of nice to see her all disgruntled. Perhaps she was not as perfect as Sehun.

It might have been easier if Kai had fallen for Lara instead. He was not saying that he fancied her or that Lara liked him like that, but he could have made it work. He did not think that it would be that big of a hassle to charm her, even though she was also way out of his league.

With Sehun, everything was so… sticky and weird.

Only because Kai had made it so weird, obviously.

They were interrupted by a cursing Layla, who was stomping in their direction with a furious moue on her face.

“Hey, Layla,” Lara greeted her, but only after making sure Layla’s tag was missing, which meant she was out. “Who outed you?”

Layla stopped, huffing and puffing. “Sehun, who else? He is ruthless when it comes to a competition.”

Lara stifled a laugh. “Well, I’m sorry.”

“He is unbelievable. Could he not cut some slack for his _girlfriend?”_ She glanced at Kai and got even more flustered. She quickly turned her attention back to Lara before she could give away the fact that she too was physically attracted to him, like all the other girls at the camp, except maybe Lisa. She might be a lesbian, to come to think of it. She would stare at Lara and Layla a moment too long, too. But Kai really could not care less. It wasn’t like he wasn’t ready to bend over backwards for a _boy._

“We’ll avenge you,” said Lara. “Don’t worry.”

“I hope so. I don’t want him to win now,” she spat, crossing her arms over her chest. “Good luck.” She was saying that to Kai before she walked away.

Lara was smiling a sheepish smile at Kai.

“What?” asked Kai.

“I could tell you don’t like her.”

Kai blinked. “Huh?” He grimaced. “Do you and your brother _enjoy_ making assumptions about me?”

Lara’s eyes widened. “My brother said something?”

Kai pursed his lips and started walking. Lara followed.

“You don’t have to feel threatened by her,” she said. Kai clenched his fists and kept mum. Saying something might be even worse than saying nothing at all. “Their relationship is purely performative.”

Kai cocked an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

Lara shrugged. “Sehun is a son of a goddess. But he’s also… him. You know? He comes from an influential, respectable family. He’s class president, terrific athlete, a prodigy. I’m not sure how much of it has to do with him being a demigod. He has a lot of responsibilities on his shoulders. Expectations to meet. Standards to keep up with. When he started dating Layla, we all knew it was just to get his parents off his back. You can imagine they’d start to worry after a while since he has never had a single long-term romantic relationship in his life.”

“How old is he?”

“He’s nineteen. But someone like him should be able to find a girlfriend easily. Then there’s Layla. She’s been after him for as long as we know. I know that she’s not in love with him, as much as she is in love with the idea of having only perfections in her life.”

Kai thought about this for a moment. Perhaps Sehun was not trying to play the therapist the other day. Perhaps he really was just trying to get to know Kai better.

“How do you _know_ she doesn’t love him?” he asked out of genuine curiosity.

This made Lara chuckle. “Did you forget who my mom is? Trust me, Kai. I know love when I see it.”

Kai fell quiet again.

“Sehun is the wonder boy. Perfect grades, obedient son, an all-rounder, you could say. That’s just him. I don’t think it has anything to do with his parentage. Now don’t get me wrong. I think Sehun does enjoy Layla’s company, but he’s mostly fooling himself, believing that he needs her. She’s convenient. His family likes her. She’s the cream of the crop, so nothing much to complain about her. But deep down, I still think he’s lonely. And very, very afraid to follow his heart.”

Kai stopped and stared at Lara for a length. “Why are you telling me all this?”

Lara’s lips stretched into that knowing smile of hers. “Like I said. I know love when I see it.” With that, she gave Kai’s arm a gentle pat before she broke into a jog.

Kai stood there, rooted to the ground. What was she saying? He shook his head and exhaled heavily before he too went looking for his next victim.

* * *

The sun was already starting to sink in the horizon, and the horn was yet to be sounded. Which meant, Kai was not the only survivor yet. He had managed to take both Dominic and Eric out along with another one from Team Purple.

He was starting to feel some exhaustion in his legs and shoulders. He came to a rest near a tree, raising a hand to its trunk, hanging his head to catch his breath.

He stilled when he heard the loam shifting underneath light footsteps behind him. He nearly scoffed, feeling bad for whoever that thought they could sneak up on him.

Bad idea. More than anything, Kai hated surprises and jump scares. They threw him into a rageful fit, both uncontrollable and impetuous.

The instant he felt a hand on his tag, he spun around, grabbed the arm, and yanked the boy close before twisting it behind his back.

Sehun squirmed and whimpered for a second, shocked. Part of Kai knew that it had to be him.

Gripping Sehun’s wrist firmly in one hand, pinned to the small of Sehun’s back, he smiled for a beat.

The smile quickly fell apart as soon as he realized Sehun’s back was pressed tightly against his front. The heat of Sehun’s body that seeped through his black T-shirt instantly registered to Kai’s own skin. Sehun could probably feel Kai’s heartbeat against his shoulder blade.

He released Sehun’s arm at once and staggered back, until he was up against the tree, like he had been scorched.

Sehun rolled his shoulder and groaned quietly – a sound that drove Kai mad, by the way – before facing Kai with a frown, rubbing his wrist which Kai’s hand had left a red, bright imprint on.

Kai opened his mouth to say sorry for hurting him, but he decided against it. He was too worried about his voice breaking if he spoke.

He was a fucking wimp when it came to Sehun, huh.

Sehun looked up at him, and Kai looked away. Fuck, he was not even going to fight back anymore. Sehun could rip his arm tag off and be on his way. He did not care.

But then Sehun did not move for a long time. When he finally did, he closed the distance between them until he was standing in Kai’s space. Kai pulled away from the tree and started past Sehun.

His frown deepened. “Is it… that hard to look at my eyes when I’m close?” he asked, his voice only but a whisper.

Kai stopped and turned to meet his eyes then. He had a point. Kai had no trouble making eye contact when there was a safe distance between them. Like at the campfire, or the cafeteria. But as soon as they were actually standing near one another, he simply could not…

“Why does it matter?” asked Kai, taking a step closer again.

It was Sehun’s turn to retreat. Now that Kai was actually looking at him, studying his eyes, Sehun looked like he was being suffocated. He was the one to break the eye contact this time and turn his face away, blushing.

It was very hard to ignore his florid cheeks and quivering lips then. He looked tired, but mostly, he was blushing.

Kai should stop and walk away. But he didn’t. He advanced another step. Then another.

Sehun looked to him sharply when Kai brought a hand up and rested it on the tree Sehun was now pressed against. He immediately tensed up, and Kai liked it.

Maybe he was not that perfect after all.

“Look at me now that I’m looking at you,” Kai said, and it came out like an order, which Sehun surprisingly obeyed. He did not look scared this time. But he looked very nervous, confused and like his knees were slowly turning into water. His eyes betrayed him twice when they dropped to Kai’s lips.

He knew.

He knew Kai liked him.

Fucking hell.

One of his hands came up to cling onto Kai’s unbuttoned shirt, which he wore over a white T-shirt. Kai was right there, willing and distracted enough for Sehun to rip the tag off. But he did not. He did not seem so ruthless, like Layla had accused.

In fact, Sehun was more distracted than Kai was. He was breathing so fast, Kai wondered just how fast his heartbeat was.

This was all very overwhelming. Kai knew what he wanted to do next, but he also knew that that was the worst course of action.

“Are you…” Kai asked, breaking the silence at long last. His voice was low, his breaths were steady but short. “toying with me?”

Sehun swallowed, eyes frowning, lips eventually parted. “What? No.”

Kai closed his eyes momentarily. This was all too much. Maybe he was just reading this situation very wrong.

When he opened his eyes again, Sehun had that longing look again. That schoolboy look, waiting for a prize.

Kai sucked in a sharp breath, retrieved his hand from the tree, and grabbed hold of Sehun’s red arm tag before ripping it off mercilessly.

Sehun stumbled a step but quickly regained his stability before he gawked up at Kai in something like disbelief.

Kai pocketed the tag along with the rest and turned his back to Sehun, stomping away with a thick lump in his throat and bloodshot eyes.

* * *

After dinner, when everyone had turned in, Kai decided that he needed a cold shower to help him sleep, after spending hours tossing and turning on his bed. It had been the most tiring day so far. But it was worth it, he supposed. Team Blue was back on top on the scoreboard.

As he walked past the assembly arena, he came to a halt, noticing a familiar silhouette perched on the edge of the platform, slouching. He did not know Sehun could even slouch. It was very… human of him.

He was alone. And that was a rare sight, too. Kai did not think he had ever seen the boy without a horde people surrounding him. At least, Layla or Lara were always around him.

The camp was so quiet during the night. Everyone was tucked away in their own cabins. No one was even supposed to be out now. Except if they were Kai, of course. He didn’t give a hoot about those stupid rules.

Which was why it surprised him to see Sehun out here, breaking curfew.

He thought of walking away. But for some reason, his legs were dragging him toward the platform.

“Can’t sleep either?”

Sehun flinched with a start, frantically looking over to Kai. He licked his lips and swallowed, turning away. “Yeah.”

“You’re not moping because you lost, are you?” scoffed Kai.

He could see a corner of Sehun’s lips forming a faint smile. It warmed his heart. “A little,” he admitted.

Kai could not help but chuckle, and it must have come out as a cruel sound because Sehun’s smile slipped away again.

“Well,” Kai sighed, clearing his throat. “We still have a month and half to go. Plenty of chances for you to win.”

Was he trying to console the boy?

Sehun stayed silent, staring at the ground beneath him. It did not seem like it was the scoreboard that was bothering him. Did Kai even want to know?

Yes, he did. But he had his own shit to deal with right now, and he did not want to embarrass himself any further, especially now that he figured Sehun knew.

He had to know.

As he turned around to walk away, Sehun called after him. “Kai.”

It felt like a boulder had been dropped on his chest. Kai faced him once more as he rose to his feet.

It took Sehun a moment to speak again, as though he were trying to find the right words first.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked at length, looking like a kicked puppy.

Kai could only blink in response.

“It’s just that,” Sehun continued, licking his lips multiple times. “I’ve never… I mean, no one has ever…” he trailed off and Kai let him. Drawing a deep breath – he really looked like he needed it – he then said, “I just don’t know what I did wrong. Why do you treat me the way you do?”

Kai did not reply again. He honestly did not know what to say.

Sehun frowned. “I can’t tell if you… dislike me or…”

God, this was very difficult for him. He had clearly never had someone not fawn over him and shower him with love.

And Kai never had someone who tried so hard to be friends with him.

“Does it matter?” Kai asked that a lot because he truly wanted to find out just how much any of this mattered to Sehun.

Sehun’s eyebrows dipped lower. “Of course,” he let out in a whisper. “It matters.”

“Why?”

This Sehun had trouble answering. He rubbed his elbow with a hand. “I… don’t know,” he ended up saying.

“Yeah,” Kai let out because he felt the same way.

He started to turn around again, but stopped when Sehun said, “But you feel… important.”

Kai’s heart had taken enough jabs and cuts lately. But still… This ripped his heart apart.

“To me,” Sehun added. He was the one fumbling for words now. He looked anxious and scared again. “So… it matters.”

Kai clenched his teeth then, lurching forward, so that he was only a few inches away from Sehun. “You don’t fucking realize what you’re saying,” he spat through his gritted teeth. “I don’t know if you’re just messing with me, or if you really are that naïve and confused, but _stop_.”

The ‘stop’ came out harsh and firm.

This close, he could see Sehun’s puffy, tired, red eyes. Sehun lowered them. “You’re… confusing me,” he whispered eventually. Why did he sound so… pained?

“Huh?”

Sehun took a breath before saying, “I really… don’t understand… your… signals. I don’t know if I’m misreading them or if you really…” he trailed off again, looking embarrassed.

“What signals?” growled Kai.

Sehun went silent, shoulders falling tiredly, eyelids heavy. “I’m sorry,” he exhaled at some point. “I’m just being an idiot. You’re right. I don’t realize… what I’m saying… or doing.”

He sniffled and nodded his head before he turned on his heel and started towards his cabin.

“Good night, Kai.”


	5. Chapter 5

# Chapter Five

Another week passed without any incident. Kai’s mother would be proud. She must be waiting by the telephone, dreading bad news every day. Kai was determined to give her the time-off she deserved. So, he was trying to be on his best behaviour, for as long as he was here.

Besides, this was not as bad as he thought it would be.

In the beginning, getting used to it all was difficult, especially being surrounded by so many people at all times. But they were people like him. Outcasts and misfits, who could be themselves here. Maybe that was why it was easier for him to become a part of the group quickly.

Still, he was not _like_ them per se. Just because he did not feel an urge to punch everyone in the face, it did not mean he felt like he belonged here. And it was not all easy either.

But everyone knew him now. He was one of the ‘popular’ ones, only that he did not act like it. He still kept to himself all the time. He talked to Dan, Keylan, Juan and Lara – or rather he _listened_ to them. He got used to the (mostly positive) attention he was getting from the rest of them, but he still did not care for it. But the gazes and whispers did not bother him anymore. He tried to work together as a team during the activities, but he was often the reason for their victories. No one complained about it, though.

By the end of the week, Blue was still in the lead on the scoreboard.

He had not spoken to Sehun since that night a few days back. Even during the daily activities, Sehun completely steered clear of Kai, and it was so obviously intentional. He never looked at Kai during mealtime anymore. In fact, he did not look at anyone except his food. He smiled every now and then when someone approached him, but it was not the same smile. It felt so mechanical and lifeless now.

It was like looking at a completely different person.

There were even dark circles around his eyes some mornings. His eyes would be puffy, sleepless. He would lower his head whenever Kai’s name was mentioned or called out for appreciation after every activity. It was like he would be burned or sent straight to hell if he even looked at Kai now. He looked tired most days, and he was not as competitive as he used to be in the challenges. It was probably why Team Red was now in third place.

Two days ago, Layla had stormed off from the cafeteria angrily for some reason, and all that Sehun did was sigh and return to prodding his food around on his tray, not really looking like he wanted to eat any of it.

Kai wondered – or maybe hoped – if Sehun’s sudden change in behaviour was because of him. Because of what had happened between them the other day. But that was just wishful thinking.

Whether or not he was the reason for Sehun’s sleeplessness, but Sehun certainly was his. Kai replayed what they had talked about that night over and over again, trying to make some sense of it.

 _“You’re confusing me,”_ Sehun had said.

What was he talking about? How was Kai confusing him? Why did it matter to him? Why did he look so conflicted and pained when he told Kai that? Why did he even tell Kai that?

The answer was right there, but Kai was too afraid to look for it. What if it ended up breaking his heart? He was strong, but he was not sure if he wanted to test the waters, only to find out that he was not wanted. He had never dealt well with rejection, and this one might be the worst of all. He already knew that he was not good enough, so why risk it? It was better to go on without having to hear just how undeserving he was.

He might wreak havoc with irreversible consequences. He was already on the brink of it. The only time he was not cudgelling his brain over the thoughts of Sehun was when he was distracted by the activities. So, when he was left alone with his thoughts at night in the cabin, there was little that he could do to keep them at bay and not keep him up.

“Now, we don’t want to hear too much noise,” said Instructor Lee, sticking two fingers towards his eyes before pointing them to everyone sitting around the campfire, with bottles of apple ciders and cans of soda in their hands. “And to bed before midnight.”

Which meant they would not be going to bed until midnight.

“And Daniel,” said Lee, looking at him sharply. “No turning drinks to wine.”

Dan saluted at the man. “Aye, aye, captain.”

After a day of tiring activities, they were finally allowed to have some fun among themselves.

Lara was sitting with her brother, nursing a bottle in her hand, while rejecting Dan’s flirty advances.

Huffing, Dan eventually settled down beside Kai, his hopes for snogging her in the woods after curfew crushed once again.

“Can I ask you something, man?” he asked.

Kai took a sip of the cherry soda from the can and kept staring into the campfire. He was in the mood for some toasted marshmallows, he thought. He was glad that Sehun was sitting on the other side of the massive campfire, making it easier to not to look at him the whole time.

“Do you think… Lara is into you?”

Kai looked to Dan at once. “No,” the answer was curt and straightforward and true. He really did not think so.

Dan sighed. “It’s just that she’s always happy to see you. She talks to you all the time. She likes you.”

“Maybe it’s because I’m not trying to get into her skirt every second of the day,” said Kai.

Dan scoffed. “Liar.”

Kai rolled his eyes, shaking his head, sipping more soda. He would have liked some beer, but hard alcohol was prohibited at the camp.

“All right, guys,” Arjun said loudly, standing up all of a sudden, speaking through the quiet music in the background. “We’re going to play a game.”

 _Another game_ , Kai groaned. He should have just gone to bed.

“Truth or Dare!” someone suggested. Might have been Aila.

“Spin the Bottle!” exclaimed Dan.

“Okay. We’ll do it the democratic way. How many votes for Spin the Bottle?” asked Arjun.

Dan was first to raise his hand. Surprisingly, Keylan followed suit. Kai kept his hands down, in spite of Dan nudging an elbow into the side of his torso several times.

“That’s fourteen,” said Arjun. “That’s majority.”

“I’m not in,” said Lara.

“Oh, come on, Lara,” grunted Dominic. “Are you chicken? It’s just a game.”

“It’s a kissing game,” argued Lara, her cheeks uncharacteristically turning blushing.

“We’ll have penalties for those that don’t want to do it,” said Arjun.

Lara shook her head. “No.”

Arjun exhaled heavily and said, “Fine. We’ll just play Truth or Dare.”

There were some complaints, but everyone quickly sat down in a circle with a bottle in the middle.

Sehun sat directly across Kai now. Curiously, he was not sitting nowhere near Layla. He only briefly glimpsed Kai before he immediately averted his embarrassed gaze.

Kai loosely wrapped his arms around his crossed legs, a hand gripping his wrist over the watch. He too tried to not to look at Sehun again. The number of times he had failed was not important.

The bottle landed on Juan a few moments after Arjun had sent it spinning.

“So, truth or dare?” asked Dominic.

Juan took a moment to think about it. Meanwhile, Kai glanced at Sehun. “Dare.”

“I dare you to drink this can of soda in one shot,” said Arjun, tossing Juan a can.

“Easy,” scoffed Juan before he opened the can and started emptying its content in just six gulps. When he was finished, he belched disgustingly. “My turn!” He spun the bottle.

It landed on Lara this time, and she grinned excitedly. “Dare,” she said, of course.

“Hmm,” Juan hummed, leaning back on his hands laxly. “I dare you to… kiss Aila on the mouth.”

Lara gaped at him in disbelief for a moment before she looked to Aila, who looked more annoyed than surprised. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” growled Lara.

Juan shrugged and the others started cheering.

Fortunately, Aila was willing. She was a good sport at everything. Shaking her head disapprovingly, Lara crawled over to where Aila was sitting and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before retreating.

“Oh, come on!” yawped Juan. “That’s not a kiss. It’s a peck!”

“It was a kiss,” spat Lara, sitting back, snatching the bottle from Juan.

A few rounds passed, and Kai’s turn had yet to come. Thankfully.

Eventually, the bottle was pointing at Sehun.

“Truth or Dare, Se-Bear?” asked Dan after his turn. He had to tell how his first time had been when he went with ‘truth’. It was a short story because Dan had lasted for only four minutes, apparently.

“Dare,” said Sehun without missing a beat.

Kai was not sure why his heart was beating so fast.

Dan thought about a challenge for Sehun for a length. “I dare you to make out with anyone here _except_ Layla and you have to do it for at least thirty seconds.”

Sehun’s face died, but his eyes almost instantly darted to Kai. The light from the campfire glistened against the red flush of Sehun’s cheeks as he looked away again.

Layla was quiet for a moment, her gaze following Sehun’s. She could not help but scowl when she realized she was looking at Kai now. “Are you out of your mind?” she then asked Dan. “He’s _my_ boyfriend. He’s not kissing anyone else.”

Dan shrugged. “That’s his dare, not yours,” he said. “So, what’s it going to be, Sehun?”

Sehun looked like he was considering it for a moment. But then he said, “I forfeit.”

Which meant he lost his turn to spin the bottle and challenge someone else.

“Pussy,” snorted Dan as he spun the bottle again. It landed on Kai now, by some sick fluke. “Woo-hoo! Truth or Dare, Kai?”

Everyone was paying extra attention now. To be honest, Kai was a little afraid to go for a dare after what had just happened to Sehun a moment ago. He did not think he would ever be able to hold himself back if he were the one who was challenged to kiss someone over there.

Swallowing hard, he said, “Truth.”

Dan’s eyes widened, and the others looked equally surprised. “Really?” asked Juan.

Kai shrugged.

Dan scratched the back of his head. “Umm… I was not expecting that, so give me a minute to think of a question.”

“I have one,” said Juan, raising his hand excitedly.

Dan let him go for it.

Smirking, Juan said, “Fuck, marry, kill any three people here.”

Kai clenched his eyes for a moment while Juan received a few praises for that dumbass question. Just how truthful did he have to be? How would anyone know if he were lying? Did Kai care all that much for integrity and honesty? Certainly not.

When he opened his eyes, Sehun was staring at him, holding his breath.

If he could actually bring himself to admit this out loud, yes, he would have given Sehun’s name for all three options.

He thought of forfeiting his turn, but that would only make things even more suspicious.

Licking his lips, he said, “Kill you, obviously,” he said to Juan, who frankly took it as a compliment. “Fuck…” he looked at Sehun, but only for a second, before he glanced to Aila. She looked fuckable. But so did Layla.

If he had never met Sehun, Kai might have certainly found Layla insanely attractive. Her personality was a little irritating, but personality rarely mattered when it came to fucking.

Besides, he wanted to find out if it would bother Sehun.

“Layla,” he said. Layla glanced sharply at him, jaw falling slack. Her olive skin could not hide her blush, and when she looked to her friends, she was biting back on a smirk.

Sehun, on the other hand, was now staring harder at Kai.

“No surprise there,” said Juan, masking it under a cough.

“And whom would you marry?” asked Arjun.

Kai did not think twice to answer now. “Lara.”

Lara only smiled appreciatively, without blushing or making a big deal out of it. Sehun got up as soon as Kai started spinning the bottle. It had landed on Eric, but Sehun did not linger around to look at it.

“Well, you did just say you want to fuck his girlfriend and marry his sister,” muttered Dan, when he caught Kai watching Sehun walk away with his hands in the pockets of his varsity jacket.

* * *

Kai was still sleepless most nights, but it was rarely because of Dan’s tone-deaf singing.

Tonight, he was trying for a poor reiteration of ‘ _I Want to Know What Love Is’_ by _Foreigner_ , lazily plucking the strings of his guitar, lying on his bed, with the guitar resting on his stomach. Keylan had his nose stuck in a book about dogs.

For once, Kai did not tune him out, as he lay on his stomach on the top bunk, limbs stretched over the edges of the bed, feeling a little too… _lovesick._ There was no other way to put it, no matter how much he racked his brain for a subtler term. The pain in his stomach, the tightness in his chest, the constant images in his mind that kept playing on an endless loop, the longing feeling that had taken over every fibre of his being, the guilt that was eating him from the inside = _lovesickness._

“Sing it again,” he mumbled, partly into his pillow, when Dan was done with the song.

“Really?” asked Dan from down below. He did not wait for Kai’s reply to start singing the song again.

Kai mentally groaned at the lyrics as his heartbeat quickened. He wanted to scream into his pillow.

It was as clear as day what was happening to him – what had been happening to him since the moment he first saw Sehun.

He closed his eyes and buried his face into the pillow, concentrating on the words rather than Dan’s horrible singing voice.

_In my life there’s been heartache and pain,_

_I don’t know if I can face it again._

_Can’t stop now, I’ve travelled so far,_

_To change this lonely life._

_I wanna know what love is,_

_I want you to show me._

_I wanna feel what love is,_

_I know you can show me._

_I’m gonna take a little time,_

_A little time to look around me._

_I’ve got nowhere left to hide,_

_It looks like love has finally found me._

Well, fuck.

It really looked like love had finally found him. The son of the God of _War_ had fallen for the son of the Goddess of _Love._

He asked Keylan for a piece of paper and pencil. While Dan went on singing, Kai hastily wrote down the lyrics on the paper. He did not have a great handwriting, but he hoped that it was at least readable.

Dan stopped singing abruptly as Kai scrambled off the bed and climbed down the ladder, pocketing the folded piece of paper.

“Where are you going?” asked Keylan, while Kai hurriedly slipped on his shoes.

Without answering, he stormed out of the cabin, slamming the door shut behind him.

He knew where Sehun’s cabin was. He shared it with Dominic and Arjun. Kai was not sure _why_ he was hastily making his way towards their cabin now, but he could not seem to stop himself. His hands were shaking, so he stuffed them into the pockets of his jeans.

It was past curfew, so he would certainly get in trouble if he were caught. But he did not care now. He could get expelled from the camp tomorrow, but tonight, he had to do this.

If his heart were to be broken, then so be it. If he were meant to wreak havoc on earth, then let it all burn.

When he arrived at the cabin, he slowed down, blinking at Sehun, who was still wide awake, sitting perched on the cabin’s doorsteps.

Kai was suddenly reluctant. Maybe he should turn around.

But it was too late. Sehun raised his head and looked up at him. He looked surprised, but his eyebrows quickly drew low in a frown. He stood up and held the railing of the steps, breathing quickened.

Being the son of the Goddess of Love and Beauty did not mean Sehun was incapable of moping or sulking. And he certainly looked like he had been doing just that the past few days.

Kai stopped a couple of feet away from Sehun. He figured he should open with an apology.

Clearing his throat, he said, “I’m sorry.”

Sehun was waiting for clarification.

Kai glanced away momentarily, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess I have a lot to apologize for,” he murmured, meeting Sehun’s eyes again. “But I should not have said that about your girlfriend earlier.”

Sehun grimaced, but only for a heartbeat. “You think?” he said, voice thick and hoarse.

Kai sighed heavily. “I didn’t mean it.”

Sehun lowered his head and muttered, “It’s all right.”

Was he always this quick to forgive?

Or did he not care about that as much as he should?

Right now, the little crumpled paper sitting in Kai’s pocket seemed like a stupid, childish idea. In hindsight, Kai did not have a better idea.

“Did you… come here to say that?” asked Sehun.

It felt like a whole potato was stuck in Kai’s throat then. “No,” he managed to get out eventually. “I… You…”

Fuck, why were sentences so difficult to formulate?!

“When you said that I was… confusing you,” he said at long last. Sehun waited patiently. “How do you mean?”

“Does it matter to you now?” asked Sehun, countering Kai with his own question.

Kai clenched his fists. They were silent for a moment before he looked deeply into Sehun’s eyes, scowling, and took a step closer. “You know what’s going on,” he said, a tad bit accusingly.

Sehun suddenly looked tough, too. Putting up walls. “What _is_ going on?”

“This… unspoken thing.”

“The unspoken thing,” repeated Sehun, whispering, turning his gaze away.

“You… have a girlfriend,” said Kai.

“I have a girlfriend,” echoed Sehun, as a matter-of-factly. Kai’s scowl deepened.

“And I’m a jerk.”

Sehun scoffed out a soft, lifeless chuckle then. “You _are_ a jerk.”

Kai did not feel like strangling Sehun for agreeing with him. “Meanwhile, you are this… perfect person, who only deserves good and beautiful things in his life. Peace and love. Happiness. You should be surrounded with great people of great backgrounds. People with bright futures and dependable reputation. It’s not right for… someone like you to be associated with… good-for-nothing boys with a disgraceful track record and no chance for a reputable future. They… _We_ don’t have anything to give someone like you.”

Sehun was quiet. He looked both dumbfounded and spooked, like he had just been slapped across the face.

Kai sighed then. All anger had left his body. It was not why he might have come here, but he was doing the right thing.

“I… got something for you,” he said, fishing the paper out of his pocket. “I didn’t want to confuse you. I’m sorry if I have caused you any… grief. But trust me, I’m not worth it. I hope this is… enough to clear things up for you. I’m not expecting a response in return. I promise you, I will stay out of your way.”

He might just do something to get kicked out of the camp tomorrow. But tonight, he wanted to sleep, because he thought he could finally sleep again.

Sehun hesitated to accept the folded paper Kai was holding out to him. But he eventually did.

His eyes were all glassy when Kai started to retreat. “You don’t have to read it,” he said. “Throw it out if you… want.”

With that, he turned on his heel and started back to his cabin with a fiery sob in the back of his throat, struggling to push through.

* * *

It was close to dawn when the knock on the cabin door woke Kai. Both Keylan and Dan were determined not to wake up, even if the world was ending, before the morning horn had been sounded.

Kai had managed to fall asleep quickly after returning to the cabin last night. He wondered if one of the coordinators was here again to ask for his help to fix some shingles on the roof of a cabin. Or maybe to lift more crates.

Half-asleep, he drowsily climbed down the bed and got the door without turning on the light. He had to do a double take, blinking his eyes rapidly to clear his vision, when he found Sehun at the door.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, voice still deep and rough from the sleep.

Sehun did not look like he had slept at all. He almost looked _drunk_.

He stared at Kai’s messy bed hair for a moment before his eyes dropped to Kai’s possibly swollen lips.

Without saying anything, Sehun turned around and started walking. After realizing that Sehun wanted him to follow, Kai quickly pulled on his sneakers and went after him.

He quietly followed Sehun past the cabins. He was not sure if this was just a dream or was he perhaps sleepwalking? He stopped in his tracks for a stretch, watching Sehun break camp rules as he climbed over the fence and started for the trees.

Although the sun had already started to come up, it must only be around 5 o’clock in the morning. What was Sehun doing?

They ventured deeper into the darker part of the forest before Sehun finally stopped and turned around to face Kai.

“ _I Want to Know What Love Is_ ,” said Sehun, a very faint smile tugging at a corner of his lips. “Foreigner.”

God, he had read the paper.

Now with some sobriety and rest, Kai wanted to hit himself for doing something so corny and ridiculous. He could not believe he had passed Sehun a note with the entirety of a love song’s lyrics.

He was not sure if it were cheesy as hell or the most unromantic thing a boy could do in these times.

“Fuck,” Kai muttered under his breath, running a hand through his mussed hair. “Look. I wasn’t thinking straight when I did… that. I deserve every taunting you’re about throw in my way, but can we try and forget it completely instead?”

He wanted to dig a hole in the ground and bury himself.

He started to turn around when Sehun said, “Kiss me.”

Stopping, Kai faced him again, everything numbing for a moment. Had he heard him wrong? “What?” he let out, all of him turning cold right to the tip of his fingers.

Sehun looked both devastated and excited at the same time, barely breathing. His neck was as red as his cheeks. “I… want you to… kiss me,” he whispered.

Kai swallowed and took a very slow step forward, closing the distance between them. Their eyes were locked, and Sehun was waiting, hands balled into fists at his sides.

“Are you… mocking me?” Kai asked, voice breaking.

Sehun looked panicked then, and he quickly shook his head. Gasping in a breath, he said, “I am not mocking you, Kai. Not now, not before, not when you looked at me for the first time and my heart nearly fell out of my chest. Not when I was reading what you wrote in that paper. Not when you hurt me with your words while killing me softly with your gaze. Not when you made me question everything I’ve ever known. Not when you turned my world upside down in the matter of seconds. Not when I started to lose my mind the past few days. I didn’t mock you then, and I am not mocking you now when I want you to kiss me.”

When he was done, a tear rolled down his cheek.

Kai lost the last slivers of his self-restraint as he closed the remaining gap between them and carefully cupped Sehun’s face in his hands. When his lips finally met Sehun’s in a soft but reaffirming kiss, their hearts were borne open for the taking. In that moment, Kai knew for certain that his heart belonged to Sehun and what he planned to do with it was entirely up to him.


	6. Chapter 6

# Chapter Six

Kai considered himself as the luckiest person in the world in that moment because he was kissing the boy he loved and was being kissed back. As much as he wanted to make sure that this was really happening, part of him was terrified that if he opened his eyes, he might wake up from this pleasant dream.

Sehun’s face was warm in Kai’s hands. His cheeks were as supple as Kai had imagined. But no amount of sleepless nights or wild fantasies could do justice to how _wonderful_ Sehun’s lips truly were. Kai had plenty of experience in this field to be able to draw a fair comparison, but he did not need to. Kissing Sehun was easily the best and important thing Kai had ever done in all of his life.

It was everything he had thought it would be and more. He was not breathing, but he did not care. Frankly, he would not mind if he died like this. There could not be a better way to go.

His thumbs were pressed against Sehun’s cheekbones. He was nearly driven over the edge of sanity when Sehun parted his lips, as though to allow him better access, which Kai gladly took advantage of. From the looks of it, Sehun was not a novice at this either. And he had no trouble immediately yielding to Kai, withdrawing all dominance his lips had fought for in the first two seconds of the kiss.

All of him was trembling against Kai. His lips between Kai’s, his hands clinging to some part of Kai’s shirt, his knees that were about to buckle any moment now.

Kai dropped one of his hands from Sehun’s face and latched it onto a side of the other boy’s waist to hold him fast and close. He could not help but groan softly when their hips met, and it made Sehun’s breathing quicker. He kissed Kai back with a bit more vigour then, his teeth catching Kai’s lower lip while his hand slipped into Kai’s hair at the back of his head.

Inside, Kai was a complete mess. It was as though his stomach and chest were set on fire. His skin was ablaze, and his lungs were begging for air.

Not to get all poetic, but right then, Kai thought that his entire existence was meant for this very moment. Even though he was still very surprised, shocked and frankly confused, it felt _right_. All of this just felt right. In fact, nothing in Kai’s life had ever felt _this_ right.

At the same time, it was all just very wrong.

When they finally came apart for air, neither of them let the other go. Their hands were still clutching at one another. Their lips were still only inches away, gasping for breath. Kai’s hand might have wandered a little lower than he had realized, and it might be the reason why Sehun was shaking like a leaf.

Withdrawing both his hands, Kai took a step back, chest heaving, clearing his throat a little. It was not a dream. Sehun was right there, lips red and swollen, eyes glistening, cheeks completely florid.

Kai stared at him in a flurry of confusion and total daze. “That was…” he found himself letting out, but barely.

Sehun licked his lips – which drove Kai mad – and said, “Yeah.”

He did not look upset. Probably a good sign. But he did not look happy either, even though his eyes were wide with stars, lips were looking eager for more, and hands were twitching at his sides.

Kai could not help but wonder if Sehun was already regretting it.

And then Sehun closed the distance between them again, one of his hands fisting around Kai’s T-shirt by the chest, tugging Kai close, while the other gently curled around the back of Kai’s neck. He tilted his head a little, closed his eyes, and leaned in.

* * *

They kissed and kissed, until their lips were raw, and their jaws were sore, until the sun was up.

It was something Kai had maddeningly fantasized about for weeks. He had thought that if it ever came true, he would never let it stop. But it was Sehun who could not seem to stop. Maybe he did not want to. Not even now as they were sitting on the ground against a tree, hands travelling up down their chests, collarbones, necks, and faces. Sehun often gripped at Kai’s hair, neck and shirt, not minding too much about how deep his fingernails dug in.

As much as Kai would have liked this to go on forever, he wanted answers. He wanted to make sure that Sehun knew what he was doing, and that this would not end when they leave the woods.

He lightly wrapped a hand around the front of Sehun’s neck and pulled back, breaking the kiss, much to Sehun’s exasperation.

“Wait,” he rasped, gently pushing Sehun back by the throat when the boy lunged forward for more. “Give me a minute. I need to… catch my breath.”

Sehun straightened up and swallowed, lowering his head in something like embarrassment. He had more stamina and determination than Kai did, apparently, when it came to kissing. His desperation had put Kai’s to shame, to be honest.

It was both incredibly hot and shocking.

Which only made Kai question this whole ordeal even more.

He leaned back against the tree and sucked in three deep breaths that filled his lungs to the brim. He closed his eyes momentarily, trying to come to terms with the reality of everything that had just happened. In the background, he could here the camp waking up.

He was not sure that it was only the kissing that had overwhelmed him to the point of suffocating. It was the aura that Sehun was exuding all of a sudden, especially when he was kissing Kai. It was so full of… something that did not agree with Kai’s nature.

Did Sehun feel it, too?

When he opened his eyes again, Sehun was looking at him, as though he was impatiently waiting for them to continue.

Kai frowned. “Is this… real?” he asked.

Sehun blinked. “Y-Yes,” he muttered, voice hoarse.

Running his tongue along his sore lips, Kai sat up straighter and faced Sehun. “What is going on?” he asked. “What is… _this_?”

Sehun clearly did not want to have this conversation right now. Did he just want to kiss some more? He looked back over his shoulder and sighed at the noises coming from the camp.

They had some time. No one would be looking for them – at least not Kai – until the horn was sounded.

Hanging his head again, Sehun said, “I have… never kissed a boy before.”

Kai stared at him. It was not what he had expected to hear. He did not tell Sehun that he had never kissed another boy either. Instead, he kept mum.

“I mean… I’ve kissed some girls, but it has never felt this…” he trailed off, frowning.

“Right?” supplied Kai.

Sehun met his gaze then and nodded. “Yes.”

“So, what? You’re into boys?” asked Kai. “Are you just… making sure? Is that what this is? A test? Experiment?” He must have looked too disappointed because Sehun quickly grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together.

“No, no,” gasped Sehun. “Well, partly yes. You are a boy. That’s part of it. But no…” He took a moment. Then with a heavy breath, he said, “I felt it. The first day. When I looked at you… in the crowd. I felt… something.”

Kai’s heart skipped a beat. “You did?”

Sehun nodded. “I honestly did not know… what to make of it. I have never felt anything like that before.”

Kai swallowed before speaking. “What… did you feel?”

Sehun was looking at Kai’s lips again, but only for a brief moment. “I can’t describe it. This might sound crazy to you, but I can _see_ love. I know that everyone says it’s one of those things that one can only _feel_. But I have never personally… felt it coming from someone before. I’ve seen it, yes. Between two people. Sometimes, more than two people. I’ve seen it between a mother and her children. A boy and his pet dog. Even the love my dad or my sister has for me. Mutual love, one-sided love, unreciprocated love. I can see all of them. In colours. In words. In energy. In songs, even. I know that it’s there when I see it. My sister says that she can feel it. I’m not sure I’ve ever _felt_ it. Not the way she does, at least. For me, it’s just this physical, visible entity that’s all around me, yet I have no idea what it actually feels like.”

Kai tried to follow, but he was not he quite grasped what Sehun was saying. He nodded his head, anyway.

“But with you,” Sehun continued, his voice breaking. “I saw absolutely no love in you.”

Kai blinked. “I’ll try not to take that personally,” he scoffed.

Sehun smiled weakly, giving Kai’s hand a light squeeze. “I did not mean it like that.”

“What do you mean you can’t _feel_ love, though? I thought your mother–”

“Yes, she is. I am… this emotion. This feeling. I can inflict it on others. I can _infect_ others with this feeling. But that does not mean I have felt it for myself. Especially from someone else. And then… you happened.”

Kai let Sehun prod a finger into his chest before he drew the finger down all the way to Kai’s midriff.

“I felt this… strong, indescribable… undeniable thing. In my heart. In my stomach. In my chest. In every inch of my existence. It rocked my world,” whispered Sehun. “This magnetic pull that was just so full of… violent desire. It wasn’t hate, but it wasn’t love either. But it was there. Prominently. Like a sharp knife poking into my ribs every other second.”

It was exactly what had happened to Kai the instant he laid his eyes on Sehun.

“I was so confused,” he added. “And I was so scared. What was this alien feeling? I wasn’t sure if you were doing it, or if it were just me.”

Kai lifted a hand to cup a side of Sehun’s face. “So, you’re saying… you knew? From the very first day?”

Sehun looked conflicted. “I don’t know,” he murmured. “I knew that that something was happening. But I could not figure out what. I tried to, but then every time I did, you pulled away from me and shut me down.”

Fuck. Kai was an idiot.

Splaying a hand on Kai’s chest now, Sehun sighed heavily. “I was afraid because I can’t technically see what I usually could in most people,” he said. “I didn’t know if you… liked me or hated me. I just felt something that hit me like a truck every time I looked at you or near you. I couldn’t sleep at night. I was not being myself, but at the same time, I have never felt… more like myself. For the first time, I wanted to do something that I’m not supposed to do. But I wasn’t sure if you’d hate me if I did.”

“When did you… realize that you wanted to kiss me, then?” asked Kai.

Sehun blushed. “After the swimming race. When we were in the woods together.”

“Really?” Kai should have known.

“You?”

“I have no idea,” muttered Kai. “I didn’t actually know that I wanted to kiss you _this_ badly until you let me and I did it. But I wanted to do… something with you. To you. It was very confusing for me, too.”

That made Sehun blush even harder. “This is real for me,” he said at length, swiping his thumb over Kai’s knuckles.

“Me too,” replied Kai.

Sehun smiled at him, and he looked so gratified in that moment. “This is also new for me,” he said. “You are new. I am not sure I have you figured out even now.”

Kai could not help but scowl a little then. “You don’t have to _figure_ me out.”

“I just mean that you are… different. From everything I’m used to, Kai. It’s both exciting and… terrifying.”

“I’m terrifying?” It sounded both a compliment and an offence.

“Yes,” said Sehun, though very hesitantly. “You’re doing… things to me, Kai. Things I really can’t explain with words. You are a son of the God of War. What does that mean? Are we even… allowed to do this? Even if I don’t necessarily see any love in you, you are… making me feel things I’ve never dealt with before. It’s alarming, and I don’t know where this will take us.”

Kai let out a heavy sigh. “Look,” he said. “You are used to having this… well-thought out plan for your life. You have structured what your future must look like down to the last detail. There is nothing but meticulous perfection and incredible caution in everything you do. You are surrounded by loving, happy people and things. And I’m anything but that. This is throwing you for a loop. It’s throwing me for a loop, too. I don’t know what I’m doing. But that’s okay. Because now, I know… you’re going to be worth it.”

He grabbed Sehun’s hand and pressed it to his chest again.

“I know that you don’t see any love in me,” said Kai, whatever that meant. “But can you tell that I… will never hurt you?” No matter how much he convinced himself in the beginning that he wanted to… He left that part out. “Can you trust me?”

Sehun did not respond immediately. He withdrew his hand and looked away, eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t know,” he exhaled. “I am not sure if I believe that, but like I said, Kai. I haven’t figured you out. And maybe I am overthinking this, but I don’t… deal well with… things that don’t make sense.”

Kai sighed. “And I’m the one that makes least sense everywhere I go.”

Sehun gave him a sympathetic look, but he did not disagree. “Can we take this… slow? I need to understand… whatever this is between us. My attraction towards you, despite the dichotomy of our inherent natures. There is just so much for me to wrap my head around. So much for me to understand.”

“And what if it cannot be understood?”

Sehun did not have a quick answer to that. “All that I know now is that… my chest hurts when you’re around, and being with you, even this very moment, is like a glockenspiel is pealing in my ears while my insides are being pummelled to powder.”

Kai knew exactly what that felt like. “But it still feels right.”

Sehun looked at him and bowed his head slowly. “You feel the same way?”

Kai snorted. “You have no idea.”

Sehun pulled away and stared into the trees for a length. “I am so… messed up,” he breathed out.

Kai could see that this was too much for Sehun to swallow, especially when he was so sleep-deprived and still heady from that hour-long make-out session.

“All right,” Kai said at last. “We will… figure this out slowly. Whatever this is.”

Sehun met him with puffy, tired eyes. “You don’t seem so angry now,” he said with a small smile, bringing a hand up to gently card his fingers through Kai’s hair.

Kai was at his most vulnerable, and so was Sehun. It was strange how two people who never brought their walls down were so comfortable with each other so quickly.

“Even touching you feels like a crime,” admitted Sehun, still holding onto that smile that made Kai’s heart beat twice as fast, as he lowered his hand to stroke the back of Kai’s neck.

“Then what was kissing me like?” asked Kai in a whisper, his mouth edging closer to Sehun’s.

“Like I was drowning,” said Sehun. “but I didn’t want to come up for air.”

“Same,” replied Kai, taking hold of a side of Sehun’s face before leaning in.

Their lips nearly touched when the horn went off, and they came apart with a start, as though they were just caught necking by someone.

“We should head back,” suggested Kai.

Sehun nodded his head shakily. “Yeah.”

Standing up, Kai extended a hand down to Sehun, who took it shyly and let Kai haul him up to his feet. He stumbled a little and bumped against Kai, whose arm quickly came around Sehun’s waist.

They smiled sheepishly at each other before pulling back. Kai rubbed the back of his burning neck.

As they made their way back toward the camp, Kai tried to come to terms with everything that had just happened. His chest, strangely, felt light for the first time in… forever. As he watched Sehun walk up ahead, he realized that he was happy. In spite of the uncertainties of their now blooming relationship, Kai realized that he was truly happy for the first time in his life. Sehun was right. Kai was not angry right now.

* * *

The rest of the day passed in a blurry daze. Sehun and Kai gave their bare minimum in the daily activities and tasks, both stealing glances every chance they got. Sehun looked very tired, but he never missed an opportunity to stand near Kai or glimpse him for a moment too long. Kai was not exactly tired, but he carried on for the remainder of the day in a lazy trance-like haze, too. He was replaying all the kisses he and Sehun had shared earlier that day. All the hesitant touches. All the confessions. It all still seemed very surreal.

Every time Kai was starting to doubt that it had happened at all, Sehun would look in his way, his gaze full of coyness and longing. It took Kai all of his self-restraint and a lot more to hold himself back from lunging over the table and all the people between them to pounce on Sehun right then and there to kiss him.

He could tell he was running in Sehun’s mind as much as Sehun was running in his. It was both reaffirming and maddening. When would Kai be able to hold Sehun and kiss him again? His hands trembled even thinking about it.

His _obsession_ might soon become an _addiction._

“Kai?”

Kai looked up at Lara, who must have been calling after him for a while now because she was frowning worriedly. “Yeah?”

Lara glanced down to the knotted ropes that were sitting idly in Kai’s hands. “Are you done with the flagpoles?”

Kai blinked then. He had been tying the ropes the wrong way. “Uh… Almost.”

Lara crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you okay? You seem beside yourself today.”

Kai exhaled heavily. “I’m fine.” He perched down on a tree stump after shooing a kid that was occupying it. Grabbing the ropes again, he started to untie them.

“Well,” said Lara. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you best be at your sharpest tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” asked Kai.

“Which is what I wanted to talk to you about,” said Lara, smiling again. “Please tell me you know how to play baseball.”

Kai shrugged. “I know how to play it, but I’m always kicked out of the team.” He pretended to be swinging an imaginary bat. “Got a mean swing. But I’m a decent enough pitcher and short stop.”

“Perfect,” said Lara, all teeth. “We’re teaming up with Green and we’re against Red and Purple.”

“What about Yellow?”

Lara made a face. “Were you not listening at the assembly this morning?” she asked, pointing to the scoreboard. “Yellow’s last, so it’s out.”

“Oh.” Kai scratched his head.

“I need you to bring your A-game tomorrow.”

“I’ll try.”

“Great. And have you figured–”

Kai was not sure if she said anything more, but all of his attention suddenly darted to Sehun and Layla, who were heading towards the cafeteria, hand-in-hand.

With abrupt sobriety, Kai stared at them with his heart in his throat. He was not sure if Sehun knew he was there, but he did not try to look for Kai now. He smiled at Layla, his hand holding hers, like how it had been holding Kai’s this morning.

“Whoa,” Lara gasped out of nowhere, and it was then when Kai realized he had snapped the thick, twisty rope in half with his bare hands.

Sehun and Layla halted then, looking to where Lara and Kai were near the flagpoles on the platform in the assembly area.

Kai could feel the muscles in his face tightening into a scowl. Sehun’s face wilted then, his brows lowering in a frown. He slowly pulled his hand out of Layla’s and started walking away.

“What was that all about?” Lara asked as Kai hung his head, elbows resting on his knees, the severed rope dangling between his fingers. Part of him wanted to tell Lara everything. He needed at least one confidant in this matter, right? But probably should not be the sister of the boy he was snogging and eating his own heart out over.

And he had promised Sehun the time and space he needed to figure everything out first.

He had not realized that it meant having to put up with Sehun still hanging out with his girlfriend like nothing had happened this morning.

“Kai?” Lara called, sounding more concerned this time. She dropped to a crouch before Kai and held onto his knees. “Are you okay?”

Kai swallowed hard. “No,” he said through his teeth.

Of course he did not expect Sehun to break up with his girlfriend and admit to everyone right away that he was into boys and that he desperately wanted to ruin his perfect life by inviting impurities like Kai.

But it still boiled his blood – more than it probably should have – to see Sehun with Layla now.

“Damn,” Lara whispered.

“What?” snapped Kai, scowling at her now.

“You are… practically vibrating with anger and hatred now,” she said, retrieving her hands from Kai. Her face was all red. “I can’t even… stand close to you.”

Kai drew a breath. “I’m sorry.” He stood up. “I’m going to find another rope.”

* * *

He waited until late night to take a shower. He was not in the mood to make conversation with anyone in the bathroom. So, he waited until everyone had retired to their cabins to head over there.

The water was cold tonight, which he appreciated, as it drenched his hair and ran down his back. Something about Lara had said earlier echoed in his head as he tried to find something – anything – else to brood on other than Sehun.

Kai had heard a few people already talking about the baseball game tomorrow. He had no idea how good the others were, but he was confident that he would be able to hold himself just fine.

Turning the showerhead off, he grabbed his towel and lazily wiped himself with it before exiting the stall, in the middle of tying the towel around his waist.

“Fuck,” he hissed, finding Sehun standing there quietly.

Sehun gasped and turned around at once as Kai accidentally dropped the towel. Picking it up in a panic, Kai hurriedly wrapped it around himself.

“I’m sorry,” rasped Sehun, his hands fisted at his sides. “I saw nothing, I swear!”

Kai leaned against the stall wall, crossing his arms over his wet, bare chest. “Well, that’s more insulting, to be honest.”

Sehun groaned once he had gotten the joke. He slowly turned around and said, “Well, obviously, I saw _something_ because… you do have it. But I… I mean, I wasn’t trying to…”

“Be a Peeping Tom?” asked Kai, unable to help the smirk.

Sehun blushed feverously. “I saw you walking out of your cabin.”

Kai sighed and pulled away from the stall, strutting past Sehun to get his sweatpants. Pulling them on under his towel, he faced Sehun again. “Did you make sure you girlfriend is asleep before you decided to come by?”

Sehun’s eyes narrowed, and he stared disapprovingly at Kai. “Kai,” he breathed. “Please, don’t do this.”

Kai rolled his jaw and drew in a sharp breath. “Right,” he said.

Sehun took a few steps towards Kai. “You can’t expect me to turn my whole life around in one day, can you?”

“No,” said Kai. “But I want to know what your intentions are. Do you want to pursue both Layla and me at the same time? Or am I just your dirty little secret? Your boytoy?”

Sehun grimaced and flinched. “Please, don’t say such things,” he said, almost begging. “You said that we can take this slow. This is hard for me.”

Kai nodded curtly, realizing Sehun was not going to give him anything more for the time being. “Good night, then.”

“Kai,” called Sehun under his breath, but he did not make more effort to get Kai to stop.

* * *

It must be around two or three o’clock in the middle of the night when Kai woke up all of a sudden and could not go back to sleep. He tossed and turned in his bed, staring into the darkness of the room, listening to Dan’s noisy snoring.

Was Sehun asleep? He probably was. But Kai wanted to see him. He should not have been so unfair to Sehun earlier. Asking Sehun to dump his girlfriend for some boy he was necking a few hours ago on the same day seemed a little too excessive now that Kai could think more calmly.

It was not right of Sehun to lead Layla on, but Kai did not think he cared about that as much as he cared about Sehun breaking his heart.

He realized then his feelings were strong enough to trust Sehun. Especially with his heart. They both needed some time. Even if Sehun broke up with Layla right this instant, they could not be together right away, could they?

They still barely knew each other.

Kai told himself, repeatedly, that he was out of his mind when he snuck out of his cabin in the middle of the night.

All cabins were unlocked. Nothing much could harm them up here in the mountains, and they were demigods, for crying out loud.

Slipping into Sehun’s cabin was as easy as slipping into his own. Arjun and Dominic were fast asleep on their beds. Sehun, like Kai’ slept on a top bunk, unfortunately.

Very carefully, Kai raised a foot to the frame of Arjun’s bed and clung onto the railing of Sehun’s bed.

“Sehun,” he hissed quietly.

Sehun’s eyes flung open at once. He started to gasp loudly before Kai muffled the sound by clapping a hand to Sehun’s mouth.

“Shh,” he hushed the boy, pressing a forefinger against his own lips. Sehun gawked at him with wide, surprised eyes. He was wearing a flimsy T-shirt, and Kai could not tell what else he was wearing underneath the blanket.

Withdrawing his hand, Kai smiled.

“What are you doing here?” Sehun asked in a whisper, frowning deeply. “If someone found out–”

“Gee, they’ll call my parents,” scoffed Kai silently, rolling his eyes. Sehun made a face at him.

He moved to the furthest end of the bed as Kai started to climb over the railing.

“I’m not sure the bed can hold two people,” said Sehun. His feet were dangling over the edge, too. “We might crush Arjun to his death.”

“Good riddance,” replied Kai, trying to slide closer to Sehun so that he would not fall off. The ceiling was too low, so they could not possibly sit up.

“Kai,” said Sehun, disapproving Kai’s last remark.

“I’m joking,” muttered Kai. Sehun sighed. He did not fight Kai’s being here as much as Kai had thought he would. Instead, he dropped his head back on the pillow and started staring at Kai. “What are you doing here?”

He was wearing shorts under the blanket. Good. If it had been wearing nothing, this might have gone a lot different. Kai was not even ready to think about what might have happen.

Probably not much with Dominic and Arjun so close by.

“I wanted to apologize,” whispered Kai. Although he was trying to keep his hands to himself, the bed was far too small for them both. So, one of his hands ended up resting on a side of Sehun’s torso. “I was being a jerk.”

Frowning, Sehun shook his head. “You weren’t,” he murmured, raising a hand to Kai’s chest. “You’re right. I have always felt like I’m stringing Layla along, and she doesn’t deserve it. She should know. I can never be with her the way she wants me to.”

Kai never realized just how relieving one open conversation could be.

“I’m sorry,” said Sehun, his sleepy eyes falling heavy. He walked his hand up Kai’s chest and curled around the back of his neck, his fingers playing with Kai’s hairline by the nape. “I’m so… so happy that you are here, by the way.”

“You are?” let out Kai.

Sehun nodded. “I could not… stop thinking about you.”

“Me too.”

“This still feels… inappropriate and difficult, yet so right at the same time.”

“I know.”

“Do you think… your father and my mother would be disappointed it us?”

“I don’t think they get much say in what we do,” said Kai. “I don’t know about you, but my father had never been here for me.”

Sehun swallowed then, pressing his body closer to Kai’s. “My mother visits me in my dreams.”

“Mine, too. I mean, my father. But it changes nothing.”

“I wish she could just… tell me the right thing to do.”

Kai leaned his forehead against Sehun’s then. “Kissing me felt like the right thing to do, right?”

Sehun scoffed a soft chuckle. “Yes. Yes, it did. I… couldn’t seem to stop.”

“I noticed.” Kai licked his lips wet. “So… can I kiss you again?”

Sehun took a breath, one of his legs snaking between Kai’s under the blanket. “Yes,” he exhaled against Kai’s mouth. “For as long as you want.”

Kai grabbed a gentle hold of the back of Sehun’s head and pressed his lips against the skin beneath Sehun’s lower lip. It sent a shudder down Sehun’s body, and his hands clutched harder at Kai.

Fisting Sehun’s hair then, Kai shifted on the bed so that he was now hovering on top of Sehun. “Try not to make any noise,” he told Sehun.

“I’m not the one who makes noises when we’re kissing,” said Sehun.

Kai blinked. “What are you talking about?”

Sehun dragged a finger down Kai’s neck, brushing it against the prominent protrusion there. “You moan so rough,” he whispered.

“I… do?”

Nodding, Sehun curled his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. “It drives me insane.”

Kai smirked. “Good. Now, you know how I feel.”

They tried to kiss quietly, both keeping an eye on Arjun and Dominic, listening to their steady breathing. Sehun draped his arms around Kai’s neck and shoulders as they started kissing drowsily. Eventually, he slipped his hands into Kai’s shirt. They were a little cold, so Kai shivered slightly as they were splayed against his shoulder blades.

Kissing Sehun truly did feel like drowning. In the best way possible, which was not exactly a good illustration, but that was what it was.

When they eventually broke the kiss, Kai settled beside Sehun, who snuggled close to him, not wanting to let go.

“You hurt me,” Sehun whispered against the crook of Kai’s neck sleepily. “But I like it.”

Kai was not sure when they fell asleep in each other’s embrace, but when he woke up at sunrise, Dominic was staring at them from his bed, an eyebrow arched in the meanest manner. Shit.


	7. Chapter 7

# Chapter Seven

The screeching sound of jays from the forest roused Kai sometime before the dawn. The first realization of another warm body pressed up against him stilled him for a moment before he slowly realized he had not returned to his own cabin last night. Somewhere along the kissing and hesitantly exploring each other’s bodies with their hands, they must have fallen asleep.

The bed was not big enough for them both, but Kai did not really think to complain about it. Sehun had his back turned to him, sleeping soundly in a shrimp-like position. Kai swallowed hard, looking down at Sehun’s ass that was arched back, pressing into Kai’s hips.

One of his legs was draped over Sehun’s, and his arm was snaked restfully around Sehun’s waist.

Well, this was something Kai could certainly get used to.

He had never cuddled with anyone. Not like this. Honestly, he did not even think that this could be so comfortable. Part of him wanted to tighten his arm around Sehun, pull him even closer, and maybe slide his hand further down.

But he knew that would be inappropriate. So far, they had not done anything too bad or regrettable. Whatever that was happening between them was still pure and innocent. Kai would not want to pressure Sehun into anything that might break this whole deal.

He lightly nuzzled his nose into Sehun’s hair at the back of his head. It smelled like lemony shampoo. And it was very soft. Kai fought the impulse to run his fingers through Sehun’s hair and risk waking him up.

Kai was not sure if he were the one to have fallen asleep first, but the idea of Sehun watching him sleep made his heart go faster.

He should go back to his own cabin before anyone woke up.

Withdrawing his arm from Sehun’s waist, he carefully turned around on the bed and started to sit up.

He froze abruptly when he found Dominic looking directly up at him from where he was sitting on his bed.

He was saying nothing. He was not even blinking. He was just gawking.

If Kai were the kind of person to easily be frightened, he might have panicked. But Sehun was the only one in the world who had ever managed to inspire that sort of feeling in him.

For someone who regularly and comfortably broke the rules, Kai did not freak out easy. However, he did worry that Sehun might.

He was still fast asleep, fortunately.

Running a hand through his hair, Kai climbed his way down the bunk bed and straightened his clothes before he faced Dominic, who was now scowling at him.

Without saying anything, Kai hurried out of the cabin. He thought that Dominic might come after him, demanding an explanation, but he did not.

* * *

The baseball game turned out to be bigger deal than Kai was expecting. The assembly area was repurposed as a baseball ground, and Lorelai, daughter of the God of Earth, was in charge of the quick renovation while the others – those who were participating – changed into their respective team’s baseball uniforms.

Kai gave Lara a stare when she tried to convince him to wear a blue cap.

“It’s part of the outfit,” she said, not wanting to leave until Kai agreed to put on the cap.

Huffing heavily, Kai snatched the cap from her and plopped it on his head. She grinned.

“You seem happy today,” she commented.

“Oh, yeah? What gave it away?” scoffed Kai.

She shrugged. “I can feel it. Perks of being an empath.”

Kai rolled his eyes, but it was more playful than annoyed. He wondered what Lara might say if she knew he had spent most of last night bruising her brother’s lips in all kinds of way.

When they finally arrived at the ground, Kai instantly looked around for Sehun. His heart skipped a beat when he found the boy with his own team, dressed in the uniform with a red cap on his head. His eyes met Kai’s immediately, and his lips stretched into a full, excited smile.

He excused himself from the rest of his team and started walking towards Kai and Lara.

“Ready to get your ass beaten, Brother?” asked Lara, smirking, arms crossed over her chest. Kai must admit, she looked super cute in her baseball outfit. And so did Sehun.

“We’ll see about that,” Sehun replied before he looked to Kai with a helpless blush. Was he also thinking about last night? Kai did not think it was something either of them would be able to forget anytime soon.

“We have Kai on our team,” said Lara.

“Yeah?” said Sehun, glancing to Kai with a look that was slightly sultry, which made it a little difficult for Kai to remember that they were surrounded by the others and not to lunge at the boy and kiss him until they forgot who they were.

“Yeah,” said Lara. “He can take you on like it’s nothing.”

There was a sudden noticeable change in Sehun’s complacent expression. His cheeks grew redder, and Kai’s warmer. They both looked away, rubbing the back of their necks.

“Well,” Sehun managed to get out eventually. “Good luck, then. May the best team win.”

“And we will,” said Lara before she leaned in to brush a kiss against Sehun’s cheek, and Kai was so jealous of her in that moment. “Come on.”

They joined the rest of their team and Team Green. Kai was not sure why he had a hard time looking Layla in the eyes. He was never bothered by guilt. And he did not think he was doing anything necessarily vile. He believed that he was just going with Sehun’s plan, at his pace.

Still, it felt… wrong to go behind someone’s back. Even if Sehun and Layla might just be for show, they were still more legit and real than Kai and Sehun were. So far, they had just snogged when no one was looking. He wished that Sehun would tell Layla already.

He glanced around and found Dominic on the other side of the ground with Sehun and the others. He was readying himself for the game.

* * *

In the late afternoon, the game ended in Blue and Green’s victory, much to Dominic’s dismay. He threw the baseball bat to the ground before storming off angrily. Sehun did not look as exasperated, but the disappointment was also palpable in his fatigued face.

Lara was on cloud nine. And so was Layla.

“Thank you, Kai,” Layla told him after the game, still jumping in excitement. “You are an excellent baseball player!”

It was the first time she had ever complimented him. Probably because he was on her team and was not a threat this time. If only she knew how much of a threat to her he really was…

“I owe you one,” she said, grinning from ear to ear, but also blushing a little.

Later in the cafeteria where everyone was gathered for some after-match food and festivities, Kai was once again surrounded by too many people who wanted to congratulate him on winning yet another victory for his team.

He had not realized, until he came to the camp, just how talented and useful he could be. For once, he was not destroying mailboxes or wrestling fellow students down in the hallways. He was spending his energy and anger on something and someplace where it was appreciated.

He was not even sure that he was angry anymore. Today, he truly was happy. And he was looking forward to tonight, to sneak away to somewhere quiet and dark with Sehun again.

“Congratulations,” said Dominic, plumping onto the bench across Kai, who was sandwiched between Layla and Lara, at the table. “You really can have it all, can’t you?”

“Oh, stop being such a sore loser, Dom,” said Lara.

Shrugging, Dominic picked up a boiled carrot from his tray and popped it into his mouth. Kai tried to avert his attention to his own food.

“You should have been on _my_ team,” said Layla. “Lara just got lucky.”

Dominic snorted too loudly that all heads at the table turned to him. “Ironic,” he remarked.

Lara cocked an eyebrow, and Kai clenched a fist. “What are you talking about?” she asked.

“Nothing,” said Dominic in a tone that clearly implied _something_. “I just find it funny that Layla thinks you’d be great on _her_ team. I kind of got the impression that you two would not get along well.”

“Well, maybe you and I just had the wrong impressions about him,” said Layla, smiling at Kai. She had been very supportive throughout the game, and not a single moment did she scowl or sneer at Kai the way she sometimes did.

“I, um, have to go,” Kai muttered at length and started to get up from the table. He saw no sign of Sehun in the cafeteria until he finally spotted the boy in the corner, talking to one of the instructors.

“Believe me,” said Dominic, scoffing. “We all have the wrong impression about him.”

There was some silence at the table. Lara had picked up the tension, and now was trying to defuse it. But Layla pressed on.

“What is wrong with you?” she asked Dominic confusedly. “You’re being… riddle-y.”

Dominic raised his brows at Kai. “There’s always more to someone than meets the eye, doesn’t it?”

“What are you being all cagey for?” asked Lara. “Leave him be.”

“So, Layla,” Dominic said as Kai tried to walk away. “How does it feel like to shack up with a guy that’s into dudes?”

He was loud enough for most of the cafeteria to hear. And Sehun had heard it too because he paused his conversation with his instructor and turned towards their table.

“Dom,” Lara hissed under her breath, while Layla gaped at him.

Dominic rose to his feet. “Ask your boyfriend what the _impressive_ son of the mighty God of War was doing in his bed last night.” With that, he picked up his tray and walked away, pinning Kai with a dirty look.

The only reason Kai had not picked up a bat and smashed it over Dominic’s head was the devastated look on Sehun’s face broke his heart.

Layla shot up from her table and faced Kai briefly before she looked to Sehun. “I knew it,” she spat like venom in a sharp breath and stormed out of the cafeteria.

Kai stood still, staring at Sehun, waiting to see the boy’s next move.

Sehun, paralyzed and frankly in shock, refused to turn a hair for a minute. When the people started to murmur around him, he frowned in Kai’s way before he ran after Layla.

Perhaps the disappointment which quickly transformed into anger was what made Kai march after Dominic.

“What did you do that for?” he growled, catching up to the other guy.

Dominic stopped and turned. His calm demeanour was instantly overtaken by a panicked expression. “I’m not afraid of you,” he said when Kai came to a stop, only a couple of feet away from him.

“You really should be,” Kai spat through his teeth, hands balled at his sides.

“Why?” asked Dominic. “You are the homewrecker here. About time people here saw the real you. And turns out, our little golden boy Sehun isn’t an innocent goody two-shoes after all, huh?”

Kai’s chest was heaving now. “You should not have thrown him under the bus like that just because you’re annoyed with me. You’re his friend.”

There was a faint flash of guilt in Dominic’s face, but it was short-lived. “Don’t try to turn me into the bad guy here. We both know who you really are. You can drop your pretence now.”

“You’re a dick,” growled Kai.

Scoffing, Dominic started to turn around. “Then you should be a fan.”

* * *

“Are you all right?” Lara inquired when she found Kai perched on one of the tree stumps at the furthest end of the camp.

Kai did not bother to answer her. She _knew_ if he were all right. Right now, he wanted to be alone to calm himself before he went on a rampage. Letting Dominic walk away had been one of the hardest things he had ever done. As much as he had wanted to punch Dominic’s skull in, he knew that it would not be fair. Dominic might be a little jealous, but he was not a bad person. And he was right. Kai was breaking Sehun up with his girlfriend, and he deserved no admiration from anyone. Not that he had ever craved any, anyway. But when he had ever gotten what he wanted.

“No one really cares that much,” said Lara, as a weak attempt to console Kai.

He looked at her sharply then. “I don’t care about that,” he said.

“Then… are you worried about Sehun?”

Kai kept quiet for a moment. Then in a gentler tone, he asked, “You knew, didn’t you? About… how I feel for him.”

Lara sighed. “And how he feels for you.”

Kai’s heart clenched. He looked away, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “He’s going to hate me now.”

Lara sidled up next to him. “I’m sorry Dominic was being such a jerk. He’s not normally like that.”

Kai really thought that he wanted her to leave. He was certainly a suffer-in-silence type, but he realized that he appreciated Lara’s being there. Not many people would do that for him.

“I’m more worried about what Layla is going to do to me when I’m asleep,” said Kai, and it made Lara let out a dry chuckle.

“I’d sleep with one eye open from now on if I were you.”

Kai smiled, hanging his head.

“Hey, Kai,” called Lara, touching his shoulder. “I know this is an awkward and difficult situation, but… it’ll pass. Give Sehun some time. And as hard as it is for you, try to be patient.”

Kai shook his head. “I didn’t want any of this.”

Lara exhaled heavily. “We never do. I know that you didn’t plan this. But it _is_ happening, and I hope you don’t give up.”

“I never wanted to hurt Layla, though.”

“She will be fine. Her ego will be hurt, but she’ll find a way to blame it all on Sehun instead.”

“I don’t want anyone to blame Sehun either,” said Kai, frowning. “It’s not his fault.”

“So, it’s all you? You forced him into loving you?”

Kai’s shoulders were sore all of a sudden. He wanted to lie down, but he did not want to go back to his cabin yet. He was not sure what Dan and Keylan thought of him now. Maybe he did not care, but he realized that he did not want them to hate him. He had come to like their company and he appreciated their friendship. They treated him like he was one of them.

“It’s not love,” Kai muttered, not sounding convincing in any way.

Lara snorted lightly. “Are you trying to convince me, the daughter of the Goddess of Love, that I’m wrong about… _love_?”

Kai clenched his eyes. “We barely know each other.”

“But would you do anything for him? Would you… go to the end of the world for him? Even when you only _barely_ know him.”

Kai took a long moment to respond, and when he finally did, he could only come up with a quiet, “Yes.”

“Then that’s the realest love there is,” said Lara. “It’s… uncontrollable. Entirely unconditional.”

“That makes no sense.”

“You are a doubter,” said Lara, chuckling. “But do you believe in soulmates?”

Kai gave her a look that clearly spelled out, ‘no’.

Lara smiled. “Well, I hate to burst your bubble, Kai, but it’s real. It’s as real as a mother’s love. Unconditional and completely out of our control. Most of us and our souls just… wander around until we find our match. Some find it early on in their lives, some take longer, many don’t find it at all.”

Kai scratched his head. “I’m not saying… my feelings for him are not real. Hell, they might be the realest thing I’ve ever felt. But I don’t… want to get my hopes up. I don’t know… what love feels like or if it’s even real, but I know that I feel… something real for him.”

“And I shouldn’t be speaking for him, but I can feel it, too. What he feels for you.”

Kai’s lips pressed into a thin smile. “Thanks, Lara.”

He was never going to say this to anyone out loud, but he had never met anyone as kind as Lara. Not even his mother had understood him the way she did.

Later that day, Kai decided to skip dinner. The cabin was empty, fortunately, and he figured he could go to sleep – or at least pretend to – before Dan and Keylan returned.

He had not tried to find Sehun, and even if he did, he was not sure he’d find him.

As he lay on his bed, still clad in the dirty, sweaty baseball outfit, he entertained all sorts of tormenting ideas. When he finally gave in to his impulse and decided to go look for Sehun after hours of uncharacteristic patience, he found Sehun at his doorstep with a fist raised, ready to knock on the door.

“Kai,” he rasped, surprised as Kai yanked the door open.

“I was just coming to look for you,” Kai blurted out.

Sehun’s eyes were a little bloodshot, but he was smiling weakly. “Can we… talk?”

Everyone was at the cafeteria for dinner, and they would not be back until after the campfire activity.

Kai stepped aside to let Sehun in and closed the door.

Sehun sat down on Dan’s bed and took in a deep breath.

Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his trousers, Kai cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about what happened,” he said when he found the right words. “I was… very reckless.”

Sehun stood up again. “It was not your fault,” he said in a whisper. “I was being horrible. To you and to Layla. I should have… come clean to her… and ended things with her when I realized that I like…” he trailed off, briefly looking up at Kai coyly. “No. I should not have strung her along at all. I thought that if I convinced everyone that this is… who I am, then I would believe it, too.”

Kai’s heart was beating a little faster now. “How did it… go with Layla?” He both anticipated and dreaded the answer.

Sehun took a moment to reply. “She hates me,” he said at last. “But I told her everything. She tried to tell me that… I was being crazy and confused but… I’m not. For once, I don’t think I’m confused, Kai.”

He suddenly looked awake and excited. He eagerly took a step towards Kai.

“I don’t know how all of this will pan out, but I want… this,” he continued. “I told Layla that. I had a lot to apologize for, and I still have to apologize to you.”

“There is nothing to apologize for,” said Kai, closing the gap between them. He nervously brought a hand up to cup a side of Sehun’s face and was glad when Sehun did not flinch. Instead, he leaned into Kai’s touch.

“You… are…” he tried to speak, but he could not finish.

“We will still take things slow,” said Kai. “I know this isn’t what you wanted. What neither of us wanted or planned. But it’s happening. It’s… what it is. And if you would let me, I will… be there for you, at your side. We can go through this together.”

Sehun lifted his hands and clung them to Kai’s shirt. “How will this… even work out? You’re still in high school, I’m in college. We live in opposite ends of the country,” he said, frowning into Kai’s eyes. “I’m… a bit of a worrier, aren’t I?”

“We have a couple more weeks at the camp,” said Kai. “Let’s… make the most of it. And we will figure things out later.”

Sehun dropped his forehead against Kai’s, eyes closed. “I am not used to… figuring things out later.”

“And I’m not used to falling for a preppy, virtuous do-gooder.”

Sehun laughed softly, a hand curling around the back of Kai’s head. “I should be crying. But I just… feel so liberated.”

Kai could not stop smiling either. He knew, too, that nothing was going to be easy for him, except falling in love with Sehun. But right now, he was happy that Sehun had admitted the truth and his feelings and what his intentions and desires were.

He pulled back and met Sehun’s eyes. “So… You and Layla are over, right?”

Sehun nodded. “I am not sure how to look at her or anyone else again.”

“Your sister told me that… it gets better with time.”

“Lara talked to you?”

“She’s very supportive.”

Sehun licked his lips, glancing at Kai’s.

Kai stroked Sehun’s cheek with a hand before he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on Sehun’s lips.

* * *

The following morning, Kai and Sehun showed up at the cafeteria for breakfast together. They sat together and later, they went to the activity arena together.

While Lara, Dan, Keylan and Juan gave them a smile, Dominic and Layla looked the other way. The others carried on like nothing had happened. Lara had been right. No one really cared now that Sehun had broken up with Layla, but he was not being swarmed by a crowd like he usually did either.

Which clearly was upsetting him.

“You don’t have to live up to other people’s standards,” Kai told him as they took a stroll in the woods later that evening. “They’re not paying your bills.”

Sehun did not reply. Instead, he slipped his hand into Kai’s and squeezed it lightly. “Let’s not talk about them. Tell me about… you.”

And so, Kai told him. The bad stories and the good ones, which weren’t many.

Sehun laughed every time Kai mentioned one of his fights. “You punched a guy because he _tripped_ you?” he asked as they found a tree to sit under.

“He did it on purpose,” said Kai, scowling.

“And why did you mess with your neighbour’s fuse box?”

“Because he was a creep that constantly made googly eyes at my mom. I also peed several times on his lawn.”

“Oh, my god,” gasped Sehun before bursting into another laugh.

Kai’s heart swelled every time he heard Sehun’s laughter. It was the sweetest sound in the world.

He yanked Sehun forward by the arm and stole a kiss. When he pulled back, he found Sehun flushing pink.

“Do you want to go for a dip in the river?” he asked Sehun.

“Now? It’s almost dark,” said Sehun. “And it’s not allowed.”

“It’s also not allowed to sneak off into the woods to make out with the boy you like,” said Kai, and Sehun looked down, biting his lower lip. “And you got quite used to that, didn’t you?”

Smirking, Kai stood up and held a hand down to Sehun to pull him up before they headed for the river.

* * *

The remaining weeks passed too quickly. Sure, things were different, and Sehun and Kai could not wait for the day activities to be over so that they could spend some time together privately. They often snuck away to the forest or the river.

Dan and Keylan were happy to host Sehun at the cabin when it was raining. And Sehun enjoyed their company, too. Sometimes Lara joined them as well.

Layla had not forgiven Sehun or Kai yet. She kept mostly to herself and her team, but not even she could really _hate_ Sehun. She spoke to him from time to time when it was necessary. She kept things civil and so did Sehun.

Eventually, the guilt began to fade.

And the days became shorter.

On their last night there, the teams were awarded their medals. Team Blue was first, and Lara was so proud of the triumph. Red came in second, followed by Purple, Green and Yellow in last.

There were a few performances lined up for the rest of the evening. Dan and Keylan had planned to do a magic show. Arjun was going to sing. And there were several other acts.

“Come on,” Sehun whispered to Kai all of a sudden from where they were sitting, side by side, in the crowd.

Kai turned to him and blinked. “Where?”

Without answering, Sehun stood up and tapped Kai’s shoulder, beckoning him to follow.

They did not wander away too far. Sehun led him to the back of the cafeteria, where it was dark and quiet.

“No,” protested Sehun as soon as Kai started grabbing and tugging him by the waist. “We’re not here for that.”

“Oh.” Kai withdrew his arms and blinked. “I just assumed…”

“I know what you assumed,” said Sehun, smiling cheekily. The smile faltered quickly, though. “You leave tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” let out Kai. He had been trying to ignore the fact that after tomorrow, it would be difficult to see Sehun again.

Sehun swallowed and played idly with one of Kai’s buttons on his shirt. “Will you… call me?”

“If you’d answer.”

Sehun kept his eyes low. “You know that I will,” he whispered. “We will figure this out, right?”

“We will,” said Kai, tipping Sehun’s chin up. “So, did you drag me here to… say goodbye already?”

Sehun sighed. “I wanted to tell you that… I’m very happy you decided to come to camp this year. I’m glad I… met you, Kai. And I’m looking forward to… travelling further down this road with you.”

Kai smiled. “You really have a way with flowery words.”

“Don’t mock me,” whined Sehun, poking a finger into Kai’s chest.

“We will figure everything out,” promised Kai, chuckling, although his chest had been tight for the last couple of days. He had been so reluctant to come to this camp, and now he did not want to leave.

Even though towards the end, things got a little rocky, he would still be leaving this place with a ton of memories he would never want to forgo and someone who was going to be very, very special in his life.

Sehun grabbed Kai by the shirt’s collar and pressed their lips together for a deep, passionate kiss. “I kind of just want to run away with you,” he panted into Kai’s mouth. “right now.”

Kai pinned him against the wall and kissed him again before whispering, “Do not tempt me, Sehun.”

“It will be a very stupid thing to do.”

“It is,” admitted Kai between the kisses. “Let’s do all sorts of stupid things together.”

Sehun slipped his hands into Kai’s shirt and continued to kiss him feverously.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for leaving kudos and comments <3


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